BEASTLY TALES

EQUAL RITES

Noddy Nudibrank spoke to his true love,
Emily Erinmore, “you are my turtle dove”,
“But I feel ever so much wearier,”
“From your claim to be, in all things superior,”
“And, by inference, me being inferior,”
“Oh, I do wish you could be cheerier!”

Emily Erinmore, possessed a competitive habit,
Rejoined, “Oh, Noddy don’t be such a rabbit,”
“Everyone knows you have such big ears,”
“But, try to improve, to calm your fears.”
Noddy replied, “you think that you can do no wrong,”
“You are exactly like that woman in that song.”
“Anything you can do, I can do better, I can too!”
“I can do anything better than you.”
“Well, I must tell you, that’s not the case.”
“Even though your attitude is so, in your face!”
“There are some things, being the male of the species,”
“That I can do better, any other consideration is surely just faeces.”
“Consider, for instance, the lifting of loads,”
“Clearly, I’m built stronger for such muscular modes.”
“How about being caught out in battle?”
“Find yourself there, drop any equal rights prattle.”
“Backwards, upside down, and inside out,”
“Better the right way, without any doubt.”

But Emily Erinmore was having none of that!
“You’re a male chauvinist, talking through your hat!”
“I can train to do most, if not anything.”
“Even to be a boxer, alert, when I hear that bell ring!”
“I should wear the pants, oh, yes I should!”
“And you could wear shorts, but only if you’re good.”
Noddy stared at his fiance aghast,
He didn’t want to be first, but also not last!
How could they wed if usual roles were reversed?
Where would respect be, if not reimbursed?
His mother referred to such attitudes as “modern ideas”.
Better to back away from, use reverse gears,
Backwards, inside out and upside down,
Stray from normality, you’re a bit of a clown!