BEASTLY TALES

DILIGENT DECORUM

Wolfgang knew it to be strictly Verboten,
To be publicly scratching one’s itching scrotum,
But, thought he, “Isn’t it rich!”
It was such an intense, irksome itch!
That itch seemed to come to the fore,
Every time Wolfgang walked out the front door.
External alcohol application did seem to help,
Bleach also worked, but made him yelp!
But, whichever treatment he did choose,
He had only to exit his door, the benefit lose!

Wolfgang wished he could consult a Health Care Professional,
But suspected such visit wouldn’t have the sanctity of a confessional.
He supposed that it wouldn’t take very long,
Before the medical fraternity would be telling jokes to the throng!

At last Wolfgang determined this itch in his crotch,
Required a specialist, his condition to watch.
But, first he’d need a referral from his G.P.
How annoyingly stupid, health care rules can be!
Armed with this referral Wolfgang made an appointment,
With Doctor Dermot Itis, to obtain soothing ointment,
An emollient, a lotion, a balm,
Anything to make such itching keep calm!
Doctor Itis, a specialist in skin,
Prescribed Petroleum Jelly, in a big tin.
“Apply it once, twice or thrice,”
“And enjoy this embrocation, ever so nice.”
“The petroleum jelly is seventy five cents,”
“Whilst my fee, (the same for ladies or gents),”
“Two hundred dollars, if you do please.”
“My favourite part is collecting my fees!”