BEASTLY TALES

A BAD HEAD COLD

Nigel Nasal had a bad head cold,
Whoever’s heard of a GOOD one? None we’re told.
Phlegm, his nasal passages had packed,
Breathing and talking, difficult to enact.

“I got a heavy cod in my toes,”
“Normal nasal fluid no longer flows.”
How come man can travel to the Moon?
But the thought of a cure for a cold makes him swoon.
“What I need is a proper embrocation,”
“A menthol and camphor based medication.”
Now he is there, casually loafin?
In his bed, taking many Ibuprofen.

“Nigel, where is that lovely girlfriend of yours?”
“You know, the one with the open pores.”
“Nerbs,” Nigel replied, ever so sadly.
“She’s got nerbous trouble badly.”
“Why’s she acting so nervously?”
So he was asked, yes, imperviously.
“Id’s the traffig, that’s whad id is!”
“So much traffig, it make ya a nerbous fizz!”
“Specially if ya got a cod in your ‘ed!”
“It be hard to breed, I can’t breed in bed!”
And so Nigel spluttered and loudly snorted.
“I really godda get this head cod sorted!”