Healing Perfectionism through Art
I started this painting several years ago as a wedding gift to friends. They are both Leo's, very hospitable, generous, smart and cool. I had more time back then, as a single mother to a 3 year old, to sit and be creative after bedtime. Below is the painting I've just now finished, four years after it's initiation.
This is what it looked like. The reason it took me so long to finish was because I hated it! I got to this level and thought "ugh! ruined! they'll hate it!".
I boxed the painting up and thought, "someday I can reuse the canvas and paint over it". Instead, I stopped painting all together and ended up buying them stones/crystals as a wedding gift. I even thought that that gift sucked.
Because nothing was good enough.
Because I was a perfectionist.
I held myself to such ridiculous standards that I couldn't even enjoy being a beginner painter that had cute ideas. I did this in every area of life and I eventually discovered this through learning dream analysis. I had to work really hard to heal my tendency toward judgement (toward myself mostly but that of course spills out onto others). I didn't KNOW I was being perfectionistic. Chances are however, if you think you suck at everything (especially when others assure you that you don't), you are too. This tendency is usually deeply rooted in childhood upbringing and can be healed by addressing the problem at the root (it's not you, it's your conditioning). I used several techniques to heal this aspect of myself, including one by Phyllis Crystal called "cutting the ties that bind" as well as visiting an energy healer.
A couple of months ago, I was trying to declutter my basement and found myself going through old storage bins. I discovered the unfinished painting and with fresh, far less judgmental eyes I saw how well I'd done and how nice of a gesture it was! I decided to text a picture of it to my (now long-married) friends to show them my initial intentions. The response was heartwarming.
After hearing that I decided they had to have it. If fact, my friend asked if I could 'please, someday decide to give it to them'. I said yes, but it still looked unfinished to me. I pondered for a while and decided to go multi-media with it. I tested several yarn colors and textures but I eventually liked this look best.
A little bit of mod-podge and free time later and I finally decided it was "perfect". 😊
They collect really cool stuff and it will be an honor to place this among their treasures.
I'm excited to be re-awakening my creative impulses and am praising/accepting myself for honoring each desire.
I hope you are too!
Thanks for reading!
AWESOME!
Thanks!!!
I love that through your art you recognize conditioning and how it has played games with you. Art is healing. Grateful to see this post. Upvoting and following you.
Oh, and perhaps I could entice you to join about 45 other Steemian Artists creating collaborative masterpieces?
https://steemit.com/collaborativeartjourney/@everlove/steemian-collaborative-art-journey-what-the-heck-are-we-building#@aishwarya/re-everlove-re-aishwarya-re-everlove-steemian-collaborative-art-journey-what-the-heck-are-we-building-20170203t214601431z
Oh thank you!! I'll check that out!
Wonderful post, really creative and a positive message. Excellent
Thank you for your positive feedback. That was very thoughtful.
Love this post and hope it goes viral, a message everyone could use. I often ask that people reflect on their inner dialog and pretend someone else was saying it to them to realize how demoralizing it is to them. Looking forward to future posts about cutting those ties and what they actually are. Just being conscious of the process goes a long way, at least for me it did. Great work, you have really become the star and the light I knew you would be on here.
Aww, shucks! Thanks for that thoughtful comment. I have plenty more 'issues' where that came from. Will write a book. 😉
Yes, perfectionism sucks. It's a great painting.
Thanks!!!!
So nice artwork! I can understand you about the "pause" before to declared finished the work. Sometimes (ehm, often) I start an artwork, but after few time I put it aside because I need time to reflect before to work on it again and,finally, I can think "It's perfect!" ;)
I'm glad you relate. It's such an enjoyable process, even with the pauses, as long as you (I) don't beat yourself up over the progress.
This is adorable, and well worth the wait!
Well, Thank you!! Very much appreciated.
I love this so much!
I have to thank Steemit for re-awakening my love of art and creativity too. And I realized very quickly that my favorite pieces are the ones that I struggled with because they weren't perfect. Those are the ones where I had to remind myself to breathe and love the process.
Thank you so much!! I've been in love with stained glass for years but something about making it or even stuff that fakes it is either intimidating or not cool. I should just try it! Steemit is a great inspiration.
YES!
I've been eyeballing the idea of painting glass - or wood burning like @anca3drandom does. I'm not there yet. Still working on those fine motor skills to draw a straight line. LOL
It would be super cool to see your progress if you decide to pursue it. I say we cannonball into the deep end. :D
YES