In this series I’m going to discuss, one subject matter at a time, ways to steadily prepare for any sort of catastrophic event whether it is a natural disaster such as an earthquake, hurricane, flood, or solar flare; man-made such as civil-unrest, war, EMP, NBC attack, or economic collapse; or supernatural such as reanimated dead, Biblical apocalypse stuff, sharknados and the like. Most of us aren’t in a position to fund a Cheyenne Mountain Complex of our own so I’ll focus on everyday practical things to reduce risk, increase readiness, and remain vigilant. In this communiqué:

(www.gamesradar.com)

The importance of a good vehicle

In any sort of disaster, it's important to have a good vehicle. Lets face it, most people have little experience walking as a primary means of transportation, don’t have the health for it, or have not hardened their feet for the task.

While this vehicle might look right at home in the end of days, its unrealistic and definitely not practical for pre-collapse daily life.

So let's go over some qualities of a good vehicle...

It should be diesel powered

Besides being safer than gas, diesel requires far less refining. The inventor of the diesel engine and source of its namesake, Rudolf Diesel, designed the engine to run on ordinary oils. The much higher compression compared to gasoline engines is able to ignite a wide variety of oils to use as fuel. This is important because in the event of a grid-down scenario, civil unrest, war (local or foreign), economic collapse, zombie infestation, etc, sources for fuel may suffer disruptions, severe rationing, or simply cease to exist. Diesel engines however, can run on many fluids that can be easily located that you can directly burn, supplement other fuels with, or process yourself during the event including:

Vegetable derived oils (harvest from any restaurant, or grow, extract, and process your own)

(http://emp.byui.edu/satterfieldb/olive%20tree/olive%20tree%20horticulture.htm)

Automatic transmission fluid (approximately 93.0% to 96.1% of vehicles on the road are automatics)

(https://www.2carpros.com/articles/how-to-service-an-automatic-transmission)

Hydraulic fluid (any factory typically has thousands of gallons of hydraulic fluid in machinery and 55 gallon drums on hand, any heavy equipment has large reservoirs of hydraulic fluid)

(http://www.diytrade.com/china/pd/2393746/hydraulic_press_machine.html)

Kerosene and kerosene derivatives (any airport has vast amounts of jet fuel on hand)

(wikimedia.org)

The point its, if its flammable and can be passed through the injectors, a diesel engine can be made to run on it. With a gasoline engine, you’re pretty much stuck with the gasoline refined at the time of the event. Oh, and gasoline is volatile and evaporates, it also goes stale, ethanol separates from it and damages engines, etc.

It Should Be Four Wheel Drive & Have A Winch

(silodrome.com)

A bit of an expensive upfront cost, but not easily added later. The benefits of 4wd are obvious. If the 2016 surface transportation infrastructure budget is $94.7 billion and the roads are in the state they are in now, what do you think it will look like if that budget dropped to $0? It’s much more than just that though.

You may need to push or pull obstacles out of the way.

(AP Photo/Efrem Lukatsky)

Barriers, natural or manmade, are gonna stop your civic dead in its tracks. You may need to push or pull things out of the way and you’d be surprised how much 4wd helps with that.

You may need to plow through a horde of vigilantes, bandits, or zombies.

(gamejunkienz.com)

You may need the extra traction

(http://www.fourwheeler.com/features/0811-4wd-2006-jeep-wrangler-unlimited)

Negotiating obstacles such as mud, flooding, snow (ProTip! Head south. Don’t ride out the apocalypse in the miserable cold), downed trees, uneven terrain, oil spills, zombie guts, etc are next to impossible with your puny two wheeled open differential'ed rolling coffin.

Winches are Wonderful

(bestelectricwinch.com)

Oh the uses for a winch. Beyond just rescuing your own vehicle, if you have the right equipment you can move, lift, and break nearly anything you need to. It's a veritable makeshift crane. Make sure you have a winch recovery kit though:

(http://www.clemson4wheel.com/)

It Should Be Toughened Up.

No Soft Tops

Sure, going on supply runs with the wind in your hair is great, but if a zombie can tear off your arm for a meal I bet he can get through that canvas and eisenglass window too. If jeeps are your thing, get a hard top. Scenarios and simulations I've ran have shown you stand a 87% chance of being bitten by a zombie while you're cussing and battling to get that soft top back on b/c the top of your head's getting sunburned b/c you forgot your zombie killin' hat back at the compound. Take a golf cart, drive through the woods, and come up on a wild boar. You'll see what I mean when I say you're vulnerable.

Get Real Bumpers

(https://www.pinterest.com/pin/60446819972450163/)

Not only should you not mount your shiny new winch to that shitty factory bumper, but nothing can plow through a crowd/horde/infestation of baddies like a proper, well crafted, frame mounted steel bumper.

Get Skid Plates. Lots of them. Tough Ones.

(http://www.expeditionr.com/)

Nothing spells disaster like a cracked open oil pan or transmission housing. Or having a 3 inch tree stump catch the frame in just the right place and stop you in your tracks. Skid plates protect the vitals, as well as providing a nice smooth surface to slide over protruding obstacles and piles of the dead.

Get Rock Sliders/Step Bars… Real ones.

(https://www.tacomaworld.com)

If you can’t lift your vehicle off the ground by the sliders/stepbars they suck. Whether protection from rocks (duh) or protection from being T-boned by a rival, they are a must. Beyond protecting the vehicle, they also provide a lift point when needed!

Bonus! No more door dings! Take that obnoxiously closely parked a-hole

Know Your Vehicle's Weak Points

Get out there, go offroad, learn its limits, know what breaks often and where to focus your attention to preventative maintenance and modification. Every community of enthusiasts for any particular vehicle can readily tell you the known weak points and how to mitigate them. You’ll know what spares to get and keep on hand while the gettin is good, and what obstacles you simply cannot conquer. Knowledge is half the preppin’ is what G.I. Joe would say in todays dire environment.

EMP/Solar Storm Specific

If it's a modern vehicle there’s something to be said for keeping spare electronic parts in a faraday cage in the vehicle. Yeah a vehicle (with a conductive body) is sorta a large faraday cage I know, but the modern electronic components are probably too sensitive to survive a large solar flare storm or EMP. If it's an old carbureted 4x4, you’re probably good to go.

(nasa.gov)

Don't think this can happen? Well it has. Called the Carrington Event and it would decimate us if it happened today. Fortunately it happened back in the stupid ages in 1859 when people were able to survive without their electronics and Facespaces.

It Should Be Common

(fourwheeler.com)

No matter what it is things will break.

(jeeps.thefuntimesguide.com)

While the idea of looting the dealership to bring some equilibrium to their parts price gouging sounds awesome, if you can find the same make and model abandoned during your travels you can scavenge parts from it and un-break your ride. That Unimog is a mean machine, but good luck locating a replacement tri-shaft exhaust refuckulator within walking distance.

No more bling-bling in the apocalypse

(http://www.fastcoolcars.com/Pimp/My-Ride-0112.htm)

As much as you may feel the urge to flaunt your post-societal-collapse rags-to-riches story… just don’t. Nothing says “Come take my shit!” like showing people your shit. When they are hungry. And there aren’t cops anymore. I can’t think of an example of a zombie being attracted to bling, but they are attracted to noise, motion, and lights, so it's safe to assume they like shiny too. Especially the fem-zombies.

Other Tips

• Get the inverter option. DC gadgets are best, but options are better. If not a factory option, buy and pack an inverter
• Tire patch kits, fix-a-flat, and an onboard air compressor are life savers.
• Air conditioning… cause who wants to be scared and sweaty? Almost always standard these days I think (at least here down south). Added bonus, it's a source of clean water… just as clean as rainwater anyway.
• Steel wheels. Alloy wheels don’t bend well and aren’t too tough. Steel wheels and always be bashed back into working order.
• Manual Transmission. Easier to fix, typically more reliable. Auto trannies are pretty solid these days though, and with care should be problem free
• Auxiliary lights. No, I’m not taking my shit of high-beams in the end of days.
• Put a complete and comprehensive first aid kit in there, and leave it in there.
• Fold down seats in an SUV, camper shell on a truck. For sleeping. Or repopulating the earth if you’re lucky.
• Mount an external antenna. Comms are important. Make sure it's compatible with your handheld two-way radio.
• Solar trickle charger & jumper cables. Maybe even a dual battery setup with isolation. Look at boating sites for design & parts. No single points of failure.
• Spray paint of different colors. Huh? Why? Because nothing says "I'm not to be trifled with" like the right well placed graffiti or "war paint".

(nothingbutcomics.files.wordpress.com)

(www.totalsportsblog.com/)

So Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is, Do I Practice What I Preach?

Of course… So here’s the state of my prep vehicle. I went with a Toyota FJ Cruiser. Why? Well, Toyota reliability is difficult to argue. They are common and tough as nails. I’ve had several Toyota 4x4s and they have taken unreal abuse in stride. See Top Gear’s torture test of a Toyota truck here, here, and here if you don’t believe me.

Initial things I did was robust-ify it with some armored bumpers, winch, rock sliders, and extra lighting

This next picture is the resulting damage to my bumper after a collision with a minivan. The minivan did not fair well.

While this isn’t my vehicle rolled over here (you can stand on a tuna can and see across the county here so not many opportunities to roll a vehicle), I do have the same skid plates (and additionally a plate that extends past the gas tank) and the same rock sliders as in this picture:

(http://www.kurtandnichole.com/)

In a less sexy version of robustifying, I’ve installed a bypass oil system. Now I don’t need to change my oil. Filtered down to 2 microns! Perhaps I’ll write an article about oil later.

Next I added some much better suspension for more clearance and articulation which equates to offroad capability (and a modest 2” lift)

Once the original tires were finally toast I upgraded to some good offroad tires and no frills steel wheels.

“Yeah, but it's got a white roof and is painted silver! That's not good for hiding”

That's precisely while I’ve cleverly cultured a green algae on the roof to both better blend in with the native flora as well as to give the illusion that the vehicle is abandoned.

But you didn’t even follow your first tip about diesel.

No, I didn’t. Finding a suitable diesel vehicle in the states isn’t an easy task. Alas, the diesel versions of Toyota 4x4’s are only available to my overseas friends and readers. No worry though, Diesel Toys Toyota Diesel Conversion Experts in TX can convert my gas powered FJ Cruiser into a diesel powered machine more suitable disaster machine for the modest sum of $26,500 USD. I am then breaking the “commonality” rule though, even if many parts between engines are shared. I guess you can’t have everything.

If the diesel conversion doesn’t pan out (cough, cough need them upvotes whales…), I’ve got a supercharger sitting in the garage that can assuage my disappointment with some good ole torque and ponies.

Ok, but this is all theoretical!

Actually no. Last year we had a mini-disaster here that shut down the whole region for a few days. Massive flooding (seems to be happening often these days doesn’t it?) crippled the state. I was forced to park my mild mannered Toyota Prius C for the duration of the disaster (don’t laugh, my other vehicle is a apocalypse-laughing, death-dealing, disaster machine!) and travel about the city to stock up on beer, food, redbull, etc; check on those friends and family with lesser vehicles unable to leave their home; and take the occasional video of costly vehicles rendered immobile by the flooding.

Thats pretty deep water there, and we went through worse. As I said above about knowing and mitigating weak points, I'd routed the transmission & differential breathers up and high in the cab of the FJ with hydrophobic filters on the end so doing things like above don't result in water-intrusion and the resulting equipment failure.

What are you waiting for? A clear and present danger? Go! Get to preppin'! Time is short!

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