What are you afraid of, when you are scared of everything

There are some cases in which people will develop really strong anxiety disorders like agoraphobia or generalised anxiety disorders.

Where almost everything is going to trigger their anxiety, even things which who they never had a negative experience.

I sort of went through something like this a few years ago, it was hard for me to even buy something out of a supermarket, or wait in a line.

And wherever I went my anxiety followed, it didn't really matter how familiar the people I was around wore or how safe the place was.

I had a recent epiphany a few weeks ago, what I was scared of was myself, you see there was always this dialogue inside my head, what if I'll do something and hurt myself!? Or what if I'll say something stupid and embarrass myself!?

My anxiety followed me everywhere because I was everywhere, I was the common element of all this situations and environments. I wasn't afraid of everything I afraid of me.

My vitality was so low in the past, that I have accumulated so many bad experiences, to the point that interacting with almost everything new or ever so slightly risky was enough to make me anxious.

Because until I haven't changed anything about myself there was no reason to assume that things are going to happen any different from the past.