The Unfortunate Case of Eugenia Cooney

in anorexia •  8 months ago

Payout declined because I refuse to profit off of someone's eating disorder.

A sort of follow-up post to my post from a few days ago. A friend of mine read it, liked it, and we had a lengthy discussion about anorexia. She then introduced me to Eugenie Cooney who is a YouTuber who does clothing and makeup stuff. Not stuff I'd find interesting. But her content wasn't the point, obviously.

Eugenia is clearly skinny to an unhealthy degree. And I'd argue that her eating disorder is rather obvious. She herself says otherwise, but looking at her face from certain angles screams regular, self-induced vomiting. I guess it takes a trained eye to be able to look for it, but if you know what to look for, you'll see it right away.

In fairness, she seems really energetic, and her teeth are in good shape.

Judging her for her potential eating disorder is not what this about, though.

I've looked into Eugenia's account during the past few days - because I have this weird thing about eating disorders, I don't know, they just break my heart - and apparently, it's been a thing for a long time now to get Eugenia petitioned off of YouTube due to her weight.

The argument being that she's unhealthy, she sets a bad example and sends a negative message to her followers.

A case could be made that that's true, sure.

It begs the question, though, of why similar petitions aren't made for the unhealthily obese people on YouTube promoting fat acceptance? How is that not a bad message? It promotes an unhealthy, potentially deadly, lifestyle.

Just as Eugenie does, according to these people - although, to her credit, she never makes it a point to say that being dangerously skinny is an admirable thing to aspire for.

The media is filled with messages of body positivity regarding obesity; it's a clear goal to normalize being overweight to the point where we're being trained to think that there's nothing wrong with it, and you should never even attempt to lose weight. There seems to be a new show on TV called "My Lovely Fat Life" or whatever every single day.

Fat people aren't allowed to be criticized, but at the same time, people are making money off of videos talking about Eugenia and her weight. I find it reprehensible, by the way, to treat someone like this as a circus animal for your own financial gain, but that's just me.

It's okay to bully someone like Eugenia according to most it seems. And yes, you can say that she free-willingly puts herself in a position to receive comments, and no doubt she realizes what she looks like, and no doubt shows off her body, knowing full well what the reaction is going to be.

But again: the same could be said for any overweight person who chooses to put him or herself in the public spotlight.

Nasty comments towards anorexic people are justified by saying that it's not healthy to be anorexic, and it isn't - but neither is being obese. Make a mature, objective video, post, or whatever, about the fact being overweight is not healthy and overweight people should lose weight and you get bombarded with feminists calling you a bigot, close-minded, a fat shamer, just about every name in the book.

The exact same arguments that people use to justify skinny shaming of anorexic people can be used for fat shaming: it's unhealthy, it's not good for you. Being overweight and being underweight are both - in most cases - the result of a disorder, most of often having to do with eating.

It doesn't make a difference whether you eat too much or too little, the end result is the same: health problems due to a fucked up relationship with food.

Imagine the outrage if a widespread Thinspiration movement would case in 2018. It'd be absolutely immense.

Heck, I find it amusing that the official Thinspiration website has a huge disclaimer at the opening page, stating that dieting too much is unhealthy and that you should always know what you're doing, it's not worth losing your life for.

Are similar disclaimers being demanded from the Body Positivity movement? I haven't seen any. It's all about loving yourself the way you are, type 2 diabetes, clogged arteries and a glooming premature death notwithstanding.

As for Eugenia herself, I have mixed feelings.

On one hand, it just breaks even a black heart covered in ice to see someone in that state. It's always been a weird personal contradiction I have that even as a chauvinistic, sexist pig, the one soft spot in my heart has been reserved for anorexic girls.

It's easy to say she's doing it for attention, and I'm sure that it's true. At least partially. That's always a part of it. How big of a part it is depends on the person. The psychology of anorexia is a lot more complex than that, though.

What a lot of people never seem to be able to grasp is the fact that negative attention also feeds the issue. So, the people bullying her, and even those who genuinely care about her, are acting as these sort of devil's advocates here.

The thing people don't understand, even though it's obvious, is that anorexia is extremely difficult.

And that's very important to realize because it's key.

Starving yourself to the point of barely surviving - on purpose - goes against just about any basic mental function we have, so it always takes an unbelievable amount of self-discipline.

And that's not me putting it over or anything, but I need to make a point.

When people get horrified over something like this, they send a message to the anorexic person that they're special. They're doing something that elicits such a strong reaction out of them because they're wondering how it's even possible to do that to yourself.

This is pure gold to an anorexic because that's what their identity is built around. Them being special. Anorexia isn't so much about "looking good" - in the traditional sense - as it is about accomplishing something. The classic retarded thing people often say is "No man would ever want that", completely missing what the disorder is about.

Also, she has, what, 1.3 million subscribers. I can't even fathom how hard it would be for her to deal with the reaction it would cause if she were to gain some weight.

The whole situation would turn upside down: both types of attention, positive and negative, would be seen as negative because it would strip her from the one thing she's built her identity around.

If she's not deadly skinny, who is she?

On the other hand, though, she's done it to herself, yes, and I'm convinced she's aware of the fact that her weight gives additional attention to her and her channel. Pointing that out is only fair.

I just hope she doesn't kill herself. She seems like a sweet, charming person, even if I have no personal interest in what she talks about.

But as long as it remains okay to bully and talk shit, and laugh at people like Eugenia, the Body Positivity movement will be a hypocritical joke that I refuse to take seriously.

A free tip to cap this off:

If you have a daughter - either now or in the future - who's naturally skinny and/or underweight in her pre-teens, or very early teens, refrain from even negatively commenting on her weight. Comments like "you should get some meat on your bones", even though done with good intentions, will cause the girl to build her identity around the fact that her body gets attention, even if it's negative.

Then she gets older, her metabolism changes, and she gets that first extra pound on her, it's crisis mode, and there's a good chance it may lead to an eating disorder.

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Wait a minute, the thought police want to have her banned from youtube for being too skinny?

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The sudden turn to censorship on youtube is disturbing, they are not just trying to ban obscene or offensive things they are trying to ban anything they don't care for. Some people are just very skinny even without an eating disorder.

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yeah that's bad news bears

Eat healthy...stay healthy...stay fit and remain beautiful...seriously i have no idea why people starve themselves, it is only acceptable if you dont have the meal..but if you do, why starve, instead eat healthy and use the gym. Thanks for this @schattenjaeger

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Why do people get fat? Why do people get addicted to drugs? Why do people do any of the shit that's stupid on surface, despite everybody and their mothers knowing that it's going to end badly?

Because of fucked up wiring in one's brains.

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The whole matter and actions depend on ones thinking. So thinking about any bad habit may lead you to perform it practically in near future. Now the question arises, how thinking get involved in bad habits. So the answer to this question is the environment and company of a person.
For example, a man is addicted to drugs. The most probable reason might be in this way.
Bad company or environment and Depression may lead to bad thinking and which leads to bad habits like addiction to drugs and so on

thank you

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exactly but also there's always a root cause...usually it's just a result of someone hurting. So I try to have compassion. If someone gets addicted to drugs, it probably started as a way to deal with some sort of pain that felt like too much to handle. Or, as a way to self-medicate. I've never actually done any kind of drugs...but I try to think about that before judging too quickly.

Excellent article. Wish I could upvote this and monetarily contribute to this post, because I think what is said here, needs to be said.

If she's not deadly skinny, who is she?

This point, among others (especially about obesity also being dangerously unhealthy) is important.

An individual in my immediate family suffered from what was basically anorexia for awhile, and became dangerously skinny, approaching that "skeleton look" stage. She had severe body issues, and although recovered physically and largely mentally now, still struggles.

I think you are right. It's about being unique and in control. The emotional state of the person inside has them feeling so bad as a person and out of control, that they focus on one thing they can directly control.

Anyway, thanks for writing this. Lots of toxic attention directed toward individuals with these disorders, when what is really needed is love, self-acceptance, and healing.

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Thanks for your interest. Actual comments are more valuable to me than upvotes, to be honest. Upvotes are a dime a dozen, non-bot comments are rare.

Anyway, yes.

I dated an anorexic for four years, and it was hard work to learn how to talk to her the right away. It's very difficult to talk to someone like that and not fuck it up. I had to control my words, my tone, my intonations, my phrasing, you name it. It got easier as the trust got stronger, but still.

Every person is different, but of course people with these types of disorders share a lot of similarities. What I did was simply never commenting on her looks. She was very beautiful, so every compliment she ever received had to do with the fact that she was the most beautiful girl around in any given situation.

I wanted to give her something else to hang her hat on, so made it a point to regularly put over the fact that she was incredibly smart, caring, real, all that. I'd like to think it gave her other things to build her identity around that had nothing to do with her being skinny and pretty.

To this day, I actually still have this thing where I tend not to compliment the looks of anyone I'm interested in or dating. A learned habit. It still feels weird to do that.

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"Thanks for your interest. Actual comments are more valuable to me than upvotes, to be honest. " <--I feel the same way, getting a nice comment is like getting a nice birthday gift that I'm pleasantly surprised to receive!

So sweet of you to give her something else to hang her hat on @schattenjaeger! Good for you for building up her confidence.

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yes yes @kafkanarchy84 I agree so much with this: "Lots of toxic attention directed toward individuals with these disorders, when what is really needed is love, self-acceptance, and healing."

There's always a root cause, and without understanding, it just causes the person with the disorder to suffer more than they already were.

And what you said about control is true, too. That's why some people are neat freaks and excessively obsessively clean their house to the point of it's not normal. Because it's one thing they can directly control.

Truth
People have such a hard time hearing it . and Saying it .
Political correctness rules the day .
I Resteemed this post in support

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Thanks for the resteem.

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thanks for the truth in your post
refreshing

About 17 years ago as a teen i had anorexia. I didn't do the whole self induced vomiting thing but just severely controlled what i ate. The key word here being CONTROL. I also think it's wrong for OP to assume that her teeth look okay from the vomiting. She may not be vomiting. Apologies if I misinterpreted that as it is very obvious that @schattenjaeger posted this from a place of concern. Whether she is vomiting or not is neither here nor there she's clearly extremely unhealthy.

Having been on that extreme yes people think it's totally cool to comment on the unhealthy anorexic person's weight and appearance.

I might mention My anorexia only lasted for about 6-8 months. Afterwards i have been a normal weight and always been athletic.

Even still when i was a healthy weight i have worked, at times, around a lot of overweight people. When i would eat a salad I'd get grilled with questions why not just eat pizza since i was "thin."

So yeah fat shaming is wrong and so is skinny shaming. And so is commenting on people's eating habits when your opinion wasn't asked for. Unless you see someone eating cyanide, mind your business.

I agree that helping those with anorexia requires you treat them with dignity and respect. I don't think this girl needs petitioned off of YouTube, otherwise every overweight youtuber needs to get off too cuz that could also be seen as "promoting" an unhealthy lifestyle.

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Yeah, just to make clear.

Whether or not she has anorexia is neither here nor there. This post wasn't really about that. I said I have a strong suspicion that she does due to the way her face looks; there's a very specific bloat that happens when you continuously vomit on a regular basis. My eyes just picked up on it pretty quickly when watching her videos, especially when comparing her face to the rest of her frame.

I can't say for sure, and it's not my place to judge - though I wouldn't even if it was.

As far as minding one's own business goes. Yes. And no. It's a tough one. Watching idly by as someone is committing suicide? Seems wrong.

But at the same time, the overwhelming attention that people pay to someone like this - Eugenia in this instance - is also harmful, and somewhat reprehensible. She seems pretty distraught in some of the videos where she addresses the talk about whether or not she has anorexia. Yeah, she puts herself in that position, but it still makes you feel bad.

Something like an eating disorder is hard for an outsider to deal with using logic because the disorder itself doesn't come from a place of logic.

And yes, like you said, thin shaming is very common and no one cares about it.

Whatever the case may be, I hope she's gonna be okay because she seems sweet.

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I hear you my main thing was pointing out you mentioned her teeth looked okay. I'm just saying that anorexia and bulimia are TWO different disorders. She may not be self inducing vomiting.

Also kicking her off youtube when she's primarily blogging about makeup just because she seems anorexic and suicidal is WRONG it could be the thing that pushes her over the edge to actual suicide or self harm.

It is a really interesting topic for sure and I don't think they should kick her off YouTube and you pose a really good question about how it would be the same as kicking fat people off YouTube for being unhealthy.
The body image situation keeps changing all the time and people's ideas are so skewed about it because a lot of Instagram models are photoshopped and they are oftentimes on performance enhancing drugs. Then all the magazines are so photoshopped it looks like a picture of a CG doll face. Honestly people are sort of sick of seeing it but they keep doing it.

Recently there was a photoshoot with Brittany Spears and they photoshopped her face so much it doesn't look like her and people were calling it out. She is really pretty and has a great body so there is no need to make her look like a plastic doll.

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Umm. I'm not sure if I agree with the general mindset among a lot of people that Photoshopping women in magazines, etc. is such a bad thing. I understand the sentiment, but still.

By now, people should be aware of the fact that everything they see on social media, TV, magazine covers, what have you, is fake.

And a lot of people like fake.

I think it's up to the individual to realize that they're not looking at anything real, and therefore to not compare themselves to something that's clearly heavily photoshopped.

Also, when it comes to modeling and stuff, the models are never supposed to be "themselves" in photoshoots; a photoshoot is supposed to create a character and a story that aren't real. If models were to be themselves and look like themselves in photoshoots, they would lose the entire point.

That's not to say I don't realize what you're going for because I do.

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Brian has a valid point just like what i was saying you can't just kick her off youtube for promoting an unhealthy lifestyle when we got tons of morbidly obese with ticking time bomb clogged arteries all over youtube. They will need kicked off too then

That last "free tip" really hits home. This is so important, yet, we are all guilty of saying such things. Growing up around girls that have been on each side of the eating disorder spectrum has created a soft spot in my heart for this type of problem, also. I hate seeing it, but shaming them for it does nothing more than create a sense of insecurity which screws things up to an even further extent.

Cheers to taking the positive and helpful route! I wish it were done more.

Very sad indeed, I had to resteem this because the whole body movement is so absurd. I have kids and I would never feel like a good parent letting their body get destroyed in either direction.

There is a difference between the two that is often over looked too. The mental willpower to starve yourself is not the same as no will power and just shoving food in your mouth. Sad, sad indeed.

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I'm sure it has something to do with the double standard, too. It's easier to see an obese person as a victim. It earns more victimhood currency because an obese person is seen as a victim of circumstances, kinda? Being anorexic, I guess, is then seen as more of conscious choice that one can just snap out of if they so choose. And sure, that's how fixing anorexia kinda, sorta works, but not really.

Just my speculation.

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The problem, as I see, it is when someone has anorexia they get told they are starving themselves to death, when someone is over weight they are told it is the new beautiful and be proud of their bodies.

The food pyramid is all wrong and the suggested method of eating causes most to become more hungry. People do not need carbohydrates, they crave them. They are sold dishes based on the notion that they are healthy to eat and must be consumed for proper diet and energy. They body stores carbohydrates as fat when too many are consumed. It is a never ending cycle and I think food sales are part of the reason for pushing the big is beautiful in place of unhealthy is unhealthy.

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Then there is the manipulation to reduce cost and speed things up. It takes about 70 days to raise a Chicken in your back yard, but the ones you buy only took 45 days. The chemicals to achieve that level of efficiency could still be in the Chicken when you buy it; what effect would this have on human obesity? Is the Human simply eating too much or is he fed chemicals designed to plump him up?

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Those are hormones which would cause people to age faster. So if the theory is metabolism slows once one is older than yes it could make one fat. I don't think that has to do with over eating, early development yes, but weight gain, I'm not sold on that idea.

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yep that's what I was going to say...that's where you end up getting 9 year old girls who look like they're 14 @erodedthoughts @onnovocks

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dude yeah, @erodedthoughts why IS the food pyramid all wrong?? It made me really irritated to not realize it until I was an adult...even being taught the wrong nutritional info in college....

...I only found out because I've been on this long healthy journey for like 7 years trying to fix some crazy health issues. But the majority of people don't know that the food pyramid is wrong! So bad.

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When comes to the whole what to eat and what not to eat, I'm often at a loss, to be honest. You can find arguments and studies defending just about anything if you look hard enough.

One female friend of mine is the most health nuttiest person I know, healthy thin, does modeling and always praises carbs. She's a raw vegan, though, so it's not like it's pizza or anything.

At the same time, my girlfriend is also a fitness nut, and she does her best to avoid carbs. And she's also in great shape.

I dunno, man.

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I've been confused by that for years as well, @schattenjaeger. I've come to the conclusion that there's pretty much no such thing as "one size fits all" when it comes to health. Mainly because we are all different, have grown up eating diff. things and living in different environments, which effects what WE personally need.

I think not just shape physically, but healthwise can tell you if someone is healthy or not. I have a friend that LOOKS super healthy. She's thin, basically has a 6 pack, super toned...and she eats healthy but she's unhealthy and she knows it.

She deals with adrenal fatigue and has several health issues. Diet can also cause a lot of mental issues, too, so if someone looks healthy but is dealing with depression and anxiety, it could be because they're not optimally healthy.

After years and years of trying to fix health problems I have, I found this thing where you take a hair test and it tells you EXACTLY what YOUR body needs and what is good for YOU based off of the levels of minerals that are in your body.

It also tells you if you have toxic metals that could be causing forgetfulness, spaciness, anger, depression, panic attacks, etc.

Very accurate and VERY helpful. So idk, I think I'm close to finding the answer to that endless question of "which diet is best?"

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What is this test called? Where can you get it done?

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It's called htma hair test. It's crazy accurate. You can get it done through ARL labs. If you do it I'd love to hear your results

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Don't trust anyone who campaigns to only eat the animals food.

Many veggies are horrible for the body, solid starches and full of carbs.

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I'm a vegetarian myself. But of course there are good and bad vegetarian foods. Only an idiot would claim otherwise.

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NO! Say it is not so!

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I hadn't watched one of her videos in about 4 months and i'm shocked! YouTube needs to contact her directly to help her realize whats going on. She seems like a nice girl but she needs help.

although I dont agree with anyone being kicked off for any reason, especially their own life decisions...

she was pretty hot a few years ago... and she has gotten "too" thin... I hope she can regain her shape from 3 years ago.

I guess for me this is a tricky one....for the discusion sake we have 2 polar opposites. One is control the other side is the lack of it (if we are talking obesity caused by excesive food consumption). I have read some old studies (it was ages ago) where it was stated that a large % of anorexia is developed in girls who come from disruptive homes, abuse, etc. The largest % was sexual abuse. Basiclly they are looking for control and their bodys are means to it.

However you turn it both stages are unhealthy yes and I couldnt care less to be honest. :) But if you want my 2 cents is ... obesity will be tolereted easier cuz of our culture...that old primitive "gene" or whatever u want to call it...that old fat venus worshiped since the dawn of time. The welth, the luxury, the MORE...and final key note...fertility. What happens with malnurishment is ... your body is programed to keep you alive and take care of vital organs.... goodbye monthly periods, hairs, nails etc. Nowdays we look on stuff differently....but in the older days no offspring ment a bad merchandise.

What I'm trying to say is...we are looking at it too personaly and with lots of influence. When I say studies also show that most men find 16 year olds the most attractive - most women may find that offensive and criminal. But to me its basic biology 101...its a woman in its peak. When most women say they like their men tall and buff...some men may be offended....but again...biology 101. So I'm guessing it is same with anorexia...its the skeleton look that is too disturbing to some. Relates to death, decay, ... that primitive gene in us ... live, eat and reproduce. Biology 101.

Yes lets go to the gym, lets eat healthy, work out, work some more and be happy. :D Its a hamsters cage and sometimes I feel like a monkey on an old circus poster, dressed in fine clothes performing very nice tricks with dumbells....but at the core just a simple dumb animal who wants to gorge on bananas, have a roll in the hey and scratch its belly. :)

That makes me sad.
Aren’t we at a point where society should use its power for good?
I know it’s wrong ignoring her because she is to thin.
But it is at least as wrong as following her, because she is anorexic.

Wow! @schattenjaeger
You write a thought provoking piece here.
One big problem today is the inability to discus sensitive issues in polite tones.
It is this lack of civilized discourse that dooms us to chaos.
Anorexia versus Obesity or Overweight. Your right there are powerful forces at work attempting to help people accept themselves, which isn’t all wrong, but as we accept ourselves we should accept the fact that all of us are flawed. Some of our flaws are unchangable but some of them aren’t. In general, people don’t have to be extremely overweight or extremely underweight, unless they choose to be or are suffering from an emotional disorder which pushes them to that fate. I say generally because I am sure that someone can think of an exception to the rule that most of this is self imposed suffering. Honest frank talk about these issues can help people get better. Bravo to you for sticking your neck out.
Take care,
@shortsegments

"Are similar disclaimers being demanded from the Body Positivity movement? I haven't seen any. It's all about loving yourself the way you are, type 2 diabetes, clogged arteries and a glooming premature death notwithstanding." <<---🙌 Thank you for saying this @schattenjaeger...seriously I think this all the time.

I think it's good to be positive and open-minded and all that, but not to the point where you're so open-minded that your brain falls out.

Thanks for bringing awareness to the fact that anorexia is hard. I've never struggled with it, but have a friend that does...and it's like any mental health thing...it's very misunderstood and horrible to get bullied for it.

I have ADHD and was diagnosed as an adult and it is really isolating and horrible to realize that the majority of people don't understand it, so I think it's probably the exact same for people with anorexia. Which of course, just makes the problem even worse than it originally was.

Hopefully, this will change someone's black-ice heart and they won't be so quick to judge.