My father once complained to me about how we honor the dead.

He knew two people growing up: one charismatic but a poor father, the other annoying but a good father. People seemed to celebrate the charismatic deadbeat more than the annoying family man when they died.

I think it's true that we tend to evaluate people in terms of "how they make us feel in their presence" more than some reasonable accounting of their virtues and vices in a way that is somewhat problematic.

That being said: Being annoying is a vice. Yeah you didn't cross any boundaries or physically hurt anyone, but you made parties and conversations (things that are escapes from the drudgery of living) less good. You made people's lives less fun.

So I think that although we shouldn't forget about the vices of people that happen behind the scenes, we shouldn't underestimate how much being annoying is itself a vice.