Japanese culture is a strange wonderland filled with bizarre phenomena impenetrable to most outsiders. I really don't know how much Japanese dating sims mimic Japanese dating culture, beyond the emphasis on Japanese-style etiquette, confessions of feelings, and Japanese high school or university culture for sims set in those settings.

Female on male abuse seems to be fanservice and a staple of certain anime personality archetypes, though I don't know if it's fair play for portrayals elsewhere.

What I can say is, having visited Japan once, the anime and manga visual aesthetic seems to be everywhere. As to how far behaviours and ideas in anime and manga influence local culture and norms or vice versa, though... I can't say for sure.