I get it. When animals rely on you they become your child. That empathy is a form of higher intelligence that in some people, is lacking or has faded from lack of use. It's harder to think independently than to blindly follow popular opinion but you have broader range of potential to make living a better experience for many. You provided a life that he would not have had otherwise. I recently had to euthanize my cat after 5 years of being with me during some very difficult times. She was losing her strength and ability to move during her final days and knew she was dying. Tears poured out of her eyes that last day before taking her in. I didn't know that cats could cry tears. I'd heard of elephants crying. This has haunted me since. Let him know he is being cared for by taking him in before he loses more basic functioning. It is surreal to have to make that decision for him but it's an act of love, and love gives life an immortal quality, regardless of time. It's not how it appears- life, love.. these are not about beginnings and endings.