RIP dear Mittens. I’ve lost my friend. My heart hurts.

in #animalphotography3 years ago (edited)

One day many many years ago, about January 5th 2005, this kitty came into my life. I had literally watched her being born and she was the last of the litter. She’s been in my life since that moment and I in hers. Today, I was with her while she passed from this world; August 10th, 2018. For 13.5 years we’ve been together.

She had gotten sick recently and the doctor didn’t like how she was doing, so yesterday I picked up our last chance of medicine for her with an IV drip as she seemed to be a bit more vibrant than the day before and she seemed to calm down with the liquids. She slept a lot today and meowed at me although she couldn’t seem to make her back legs work. I had hoped she was getting better. I thought the sleeping was doing her good, less breathing issues. But later today she started growling a bit. I was nearby and went to her, spoke with her, stroked her. She looked at me and I gently moved her away from the end of the large cage she was in (since she couldn’t make it to the litter box) as she was pushing up against some of it. I moved her gently and petted her. She laid there. Then she got a little quieter and I noticed her front and back legs were twitching. I stroked her, talking with her calmly. Then she was still. I patted her to try and shock her a bit, thinking maybe she needed to catch her breath and I waited. She jerked a bit, like a few deep inhales in and out, spaced out. I thought she was having trouble breathing, but it was just a body response, and she was probably already gone by that time. I looked into her eyes and they didn’t respond. She was limp. She wasn’t breathing either. I found out later it was a seizure. She never came back from it.

It hurts. My heart hurts. Where did you go?!

I wept. I held her in my arms afterward and told her how much I loved her. A little while after I put her in the bottom of her carrier with a towel from when my daughter was a baby wrapped around her. I placed a sheet of lace on top and a bow that was with some flowers I got. It was my way of adorning her in a way that was beautiful even though her last moments seemed to take her so swiftly from me, but hopefully not too painfully. It was just a small way of showing how much I cared.

I had been told earlier in the week she either had cancer or a bad pancreatic infection. The vet had told me to come by and pick up this medication to help since she had pill form but she wasn’t drinking, so maybe that's why it wasn't helping. He said if she didn’t improve by Monday I would have to say goodbye. I owed it to her to try and I thought she was going to fight it as she seemed to cheer up, but no that didn’t happen. Her body gave up. I tried as best I could. If I hadn't tried I would regret not trying, but I almost regret trying as she didn't have to go through the final day and she would've gone quietly and peacefully instead of how she did. I am sorry Mittens. I wanted to do right by you.

Today I lost my friend. I brought her to the vet to be cremated. It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. I had to leave her behind. She’s gone. Her spirit has left us and her body will soon be free as well.

I’m honestly crushed. To some, it’s a cat, big deal. Well to me she was a friend, and most importantly she was part of my family.

I will remember that moment she was born.
I will remember the moment she passed and those after that she won’t.
I will remember the times in the morning she heard my daughter and I playing video games and she came to sit with us.
I will remember the infrequent yet close times she had with our other cat Aloo, although most of the times she hissed at him.
I will remember her always being there, always watching. Sitting in her old cat tree and her new.
I will remember how she finally warmed up to my daughter and even let her carry her around.
I will remember how she would come off her cat tree and over to my desk to see me. She would want to be petted when I was sitting there. If I was busy she would gaze up at me and wait until I looked down and our eyes met, then she would meow at me, one simple sweet meow as I would reach down to pet her.
I will remember the moments I would pet her and she would rub her head hard on my hand as she liked being petted a bit harder on her head.
I will remember each and every time anyone looked at her and she would give them this look like she wasn’t impressed, but the moment I said her name or called her and her eyes lit up and softened.
I will remember her final ride beside me in the car. The feeling of holding her one last time as I had to part from her forever.

I love her. I miss her. I can’t believe she’s gone and I still feel shocked as at this time it was only 7 hours ago. She wasn’t supposed to go yet. She was supposed to come back with me when I moved back to Canada, where she was from. That’s what I thought. I think it’s unfair yes, especially with all that’s changing. Now she will have her ashes spread here in Florida, the last place she lived with the family that loved her every single moment from the moment she was born until the moment she left this world. The last place she was happy. The last home, her home.

If I could have you back I would, but I know that’s not possible. I hope that where you are now you know without a doubt how much I loved you. That you are happy and healthy and free of pain. That you are at peace. I hope one day we meet again my dear friend. The next steps of life will not be the same without you, and I cannot thank you enough for being my companion all of these years and all of these moves and everything else. Rest peacefully dear mittens, aka gimmies, and also known as gimmz.

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Rest Peacefully. Love Jenny

—-

Cherish the moments you have with your pets, we almost always outlive them. Be with them however you can and treat them well. When it’s time, stand strong by their side.

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😥 so sorry to hear

😢😢😢

<3 I missed this. I am so sorry. I knew it happened and talked to you, but, totally missed this post. xoxo

I am so sorry! @topkpop My heart aches for your loss of Mittens! Regardless of knowing (or not knowing) your beloved pet is dying it doesn't make a difference to help fill the void after one of our special, four-legged furball family members crosses the rainbow bridge. 🌈
I learned in June that my 16 yr old Cocker spaniel,
Sasha, has kidney failure, pancreatitis, and anemia (all related to old age). It hurts so, so bad!!!

I’m so sorry. I’m glad in a way I knew it was possible because I took effort to check on her and be with her, but I was too much in denial and stuck in hope that she may have suffered more at the end. That is my regret. I hope she forgives me. Thank you for your words and your understanding.

Oh @topkpop. I am crying.

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss and that your time with your beautiful kitty has come to an end far too soon. No matter how long they live it is NEVER long enough. Your heartache is proof that your kitty had the best life and was well loved. You were with her every step of the way. ❤️

I was indeed with her from her first moments into her last moments out. I would not have it any other way as I needed to be there at the end. I just wish it was better circumstances for her and it was an easier ending. I could've done better if I wasn't blinded by nonsense hope. I am sorry to make you cry. It's one of the hardest things I've had to experience I think, it etches in your mind, those last moments. I hope in time I will get over the guilt I have and those memories of her final face. I am happy she is now happy and pain free.

I'm so sorry for your loss darling 😔❤️ I know how special she was to you and your daughter.
You can never prepare yourself for loosing a love one. She was a really beautiful kitten and seem to have a great personality.
I know when I lost my Elvis how much I missed him still do and how unreal it felt that he wasn't around anymore. Everything reminded me of him. It gets easier tho but I'm so sorry your hurting and I understand that you miss her.
Reading your words about her made me all teary and such beautiful words about her.
RIP Mittens ❤️🐱❤️ may you find many friends in cat heaven. Hug Elvis for me.
Biggest hug and much Love to you 💕🤗💕💖

Thank you dear. Yes, it’s certainly not easy to lose a loved one. So many things run through your mind afterwards. I do miss her, I still can’t believe she’s no longer here with me.

Kitties are always such a hard loss. Sending you lots of love and peace.

Thank you.

I am so sorry for your loss. It's awful :( I know how much it hurts..

I’m sorry you also know the pain. I’ve never known it like this. It’s tough indeed.

Ohhh hun 😭😭😭😭

I'm so so sorry. I'm sure she knew without a doubt that you loved her and as heart breaking as it was, I'm glad you and her had your last moments together.

RIP Mittens ❤

I hope to God she knew. Yes the last few moments were absolutely heart breaking for me. I’ve been dealing with some guilt cause of it. It’s the last moments that stick with you. I know those hard moments and the feeling of guilt will slowly fade to only good thoughts. Tears still fall. A week as of later today. I have a paw print memorial from when I said goodbye at the vet to pick up. It’s going to be very hard to go back there knowing that’s where I left her.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, sweet friend. I wish you comfort and hugs... 💖

Thank you. It still feels surreal. I can’t beieve I’m moving back to Canada and she won’t be in the car with me. I can’t believe that Florida was her last home.

She was so so cute, and trust me from experience you have to know two things

You helped her to have a great life

and secondly she will live on forever in your memory

Hugs

Thank you JJ. I hope I did give her a great life. It’s hard not thinking if the what ifs. I know it will fade. The pain lessens a bit each day.

Sorry for your loss my friend......I know first hand as well what this feels like. Stay strong...

Thank you. The first few days were very very rough. It still seems surreal.

Thank you. The first few
Days were very very rough.
It still seems surreal.

                 - topkpop


I'm a bot. I detect haiku.

So sorry for your loss... it is so exceptionally painful when our furry friends leave, and there is nothing but an empty space left. She is a beautiful kitty, and I know she had a wonderful and loving life with you and your family. At the moment it is perhaps only "cold comfort," but you will always have mittens with you... in your heart, soul, and in your memories, and she will always be watching over you.

Cold comfort is still nice. It’s easier to hear it a bit after. I’m happy but sad at the memories as I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I hold guilt but am happy she’s free. Just wish she was still with me. It still feels weird there’s an empty space in my home and in my heart. Thank you for your words.

Aww, sorry to read this TopK.

Thanks choo. :(

So sorry Jenny. I know it's like a family member dying because she is one. Condolences out to you my dear friend

It is indeed. She was in my life longer than I've been married. I am honored she spent her entire life with me and I hope I did/was enough. Thankful to have gotten to have her as my companion.

Oh no! I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I know how feels. It is a terrible pain, an emptiness. Sighs
My heart is with you!

Thank you. Yes, that is for sure a big part, the emptiness, and more. Every day gets a tad tad bit easier.

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😥
So sorry for your loss. She was a very pretty kitty.

Thank you very much :(

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