Anger is a valid emotion but when used out of context, or in the wrong way, you can get into serious trouble.

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Did you wish that you never closed your mouth at the right time? Did you want anything to control your impulses? Have you apologized of having said or done something in the heat of the moment? 

Anger is a dangerous emotion because it leads you to do things without thinking, to act on pressure and as those discussions are becoming more heated, you can be seen by the other as a ruthless and unrecognizable monster who want to defeat the adversary at any price. 

Anger consists of three basic components. 

The first one is the thought , something tells you that you want to go over, that you are not being respected, which you do not fully appreciate. 

Responding to this unconscious thinking is a bodily response where your muscles tense, blood pressure starts to rise, your body is preparing for the final stage: the attack. Your principal goal is to defend and do not really care if you were attacked or not, you feel it as well and will respond accordingly. Your defense may deliver a verbal or physical manner, but the goal is the same: hurt who hurt you first. Anger cries out for vengeance and justice but justice before your eyes before your perspective is not always the right one. It is a "moral" feeling that aims not only to defend the attack of the moment but also seeks to prevent future attacks by inflicting damage to your attacker. 

When you say you should learn to suppress your anger it can make you feel being ripped off, you think you're doing something wrong to allow that moment and how are you going to get away with it without suffering the consequences? 

The common belief tells us that suppressing anger can even lead to depression or physical illness, although new studies confirm that this is not true, on the contrary, living angry and fighting with others raises stress levels and heart disease. This does not mean you should not say what you think you must be honest. The problem is that when you're angry your vision blurs and all evidence magically show your favor. Only you will be right and this is not necessarily true in most cases, all that others say or do when you're angry will look like a deliberate aggression by others. You are not able to get in your adversary 's place because you are too busy trying to defend yourself. 

Anger is the emotion that inevitably drives us to violence at all levels, social, in the familiar, individually. A person is guilty of damaging relationships while also wearing them, it's a quick feeling that is not believed to be destructive. 

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How to control anger? 

When your anger trigger rises you attack almost immediately, accordingly you have to try to calm down before doing something. When the thought of "you're being attacked" appears, you should see it right away and try to modify it. Take a deep breath and concentrate on your breathing you even count your breaths. As you do this think is this really an attack? 

Try putting yourself in the shoes of your partner, you might be having a bad day but this has nothing to do with you so do not feel like it's a personal offense. 

Feel like you're accomplishing a delicate task, a challenge to test your skills to deal with difficult people or situations. This time of reflection helps you focus on your feelings, you will feel your body reacting that it's time to relax and to try breathing slowly and not in anger, once this changes your thinking and make you aware of your feelings has developed, it is time to act. 

Instead of attacking without further ado, you could just smile and permit the misdemeanor. It describes objectively, empty all emotional nuance, exactly what is bothering you with the other. 

It is important not to overdo it , to be precise, if you're angry because this is the fourth time that your girlfriend is late for an appointment do not say "you're always late" just say "it bothers me four times you arrive late". You must express what makes you feel, do not accuse your partner and simply label what you're feeling at that moment. 

Be specific about what you expect the other person to do. For example "I wish you were not late to our appointments". 

And finally let her know what will happen if that annoying behavior continues, do not confuse it with a threat but a concise way to make her see the other aspect that their actions have consequences "my love, you know I adore you, but I have little time to be with you and I wish that we could make the most of it, if you arrive late next time I will not return to take you out. " 

The important thing is that you live by what you say, that you also have feelings and rights that must be respected. The aggression always has to have a conclusion, be clear, say exactly what you think intelligently and show it in a respectful manner. You should not react quickly because without the help of understanding and reflection it could show you being unfair and cold. 

Starting today be less angry :)

~allmonitors