When your Statist friends engage YOU on anarchism, just STFU and LISTEN.
We had around 30 people over at our house last Saturday for my daughters 1st birthday party. Lots of family and great friends, it was awesome to get everyone together and hang out. Seems that never happens enough. My wife goes crazy overboard on these types of events. We had 4 egg bakes, a mimosa bar, way too many doughnuts of all different frostings and flavors, balloons up the wazoo, beer, and of course, opening of presents. It was a grand time for sure. But to the point of this post...
I was really busy throughout the whole party making sure everything was out and people were enjoying themselves, so I didn't have too much time so sit and chat with everyone I wish I could have. However, after most everyone left besides a few close friends, my buddy sat down next to me and started asking questions he had never asked me before. Saying that he agreed with a lot of what I was saying.
For some context, I can only assume he had read a few of the FB thread wars I was having with some of my FB friends about the recent gun issues. You are right to assume that as an 'anarchist', I am not in favor of any such regulations or restrictions on guns, but apparently my left leaning friends think differently so I try and educate them :)
Or it could have been this story he told me that had happened to him a week prior..."I was out on the frozen lake with my dog. I was throwing him a tennis ball and we were playing fetch. Of course he didn't have his leash on, we were out on the frozen lake with no one even close by. I saw a cop up the road make a U-turn and hit his lights on. I thought he couldn't (wouldn't) be wanting to talk to me. But he was, and he did. He pulled into a lot a little closer to me and got on his mega phone..."GET YOUR DOG ON A LEASH!!!", blah, blah, blah. My buddy couldn't believe it. Like, seriously?!? This guy has nothing better to do than tell me to put my dog on a leash? I got my dog and walked home." He said he immediately thought of me, and actually considered calling me to tell me about it. I know this feeling he experienced quite well. It is not a fun feeling. It is depressing, kind of. Like you've actually done something wrong, but in all reality you haven't done anything wrong. You know this in your heart, but it eats at you and just wont leave your mind. It sucks.
So after he tells me this story, we get down to the basics of self-ownership and personal responsibility. It's going well and then I ask him to define government. He talks for a few minutes about some things government does, but doesn't get to it's real definition. I interject and make the biggest mistake I can, I tell him I know what his definition is and I say THIS is what you think...and I elaborate back on the thousands upon thousands of times I've heard the same rebuttal to what government is according to statists. He did not take too kindly to this, and I don't blame him. "Don't tell me what I think! You don't know what I think!, and he was right, I don't know. For all I know, he thinks just like I do but hasn't decided to go public yet, idk. What was I thinking? Putting words (or thoughts) into someone's mouth and telling them to their face that THIS is what you think, is naïve and repugnant at best (unless of course they're just simply confused as to what certain words actually mean, but that is a different story for another time). I felt really bad. I immediately saw the error of my ways and apologized. This particular friend is not one to stomp away, stubborn and upset, so luckily we were able to talk for a few more minutes on the topic before switching gears to something else.
Conveying the principles of which I stand on to others who haven't really yet scratched the surface of these ideas can be extremely challenging. It gives me momentous hope that one day in my life time I will see this world I am striving for, and each time a friend of mine (or anyone I guess) reaches out and genuinely wants to ask questions or speak their mind, I have come to learn that just shutting up and letting them talk is a great way to understand it from their point of view, instead of just lambasting them with the usual counterpoints against the religion of statism. I am hoping to attend a Candles in the dark seminar by @larkenrose asap to up my game when getting into these situations.
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Yes it takes some time for new approaches to sink into our subconscious deeply enough for them to become automatic.
Most of the time its good enough just to notice there were other more productive options.
I feel like I have the approaches fairly well engrained. But knowing when to shut up and listen vs. hammering on the same old talking points is something I need to work on for sure. The latter should happen more often than the former imo.
I probably would have handled as did you, but I am making an effort to stfu and listen. I have gotten control of my bulldog mouth when it comes to espousing my views, listening to others complete their thoughts, I'm working on. One of my worst character flaws.
Making assumptions when people are being an open book with you, is so detrimental to that person willing to be vulnerable again when speaking with you. A character flaw I share with you. Just means we have more to work on :)
The headline is amazing, because it's true. When you have someone almost awake in front of you, it's hard not too completely unload. I completely concur with this sentiment. Please keep writing. We're hiring?
Thanks for the encouragement! I haven't had the time as of late to put in as much effort into content creation, so I've been focused primarily on curating other peoples similar work. Time should be opening up for me in the next few weeks though, so hopefully that means more time here writing :)
Yeah, I think we've all made that mistake before. For a lot of us, it takes years before we realize that it is a mistake, and that it hurts our cause more than almost anything else we could do. You and I probably discovered anarchist principles around the same time, along with the great burst of revelation that hit so many people in 2008-2012. There are a great many of us who became anarchists and voluntaryists during that time, and we took to the social medias in an angry, fervent attempt to be heard, to beat people metaphorically over the head with the truths that now seemed so self-evident to us, though just months or years before we were as deluded as the rest. I really appreciate watching that batch of anarchists mature into more patient, confident, and conscientious promoters of liberty. It's wonderful.
This was definitely a stage for me. The angry stage. Like, why hadn't I seen all this before and how was I so easily fooled? You should feel angry!
I used this line...
on my wife's brother when we were discussing net neutrality. Basically I said, "I used to think just like you", and he took that as I am a pompous ass who knows more than everyone else. I just can't get my point across without coming off like a know it all jackass apparently.
I see this too. And it is absolutely wonderful!