In a moment of my life I read a proverb saying: "Expectation postponed is making the heart sick". It's a way of showing a truth: things and events that occur in a way that  we don't expect can affect as if it were a heart disease.

What is truth is that, in many cases, we get tired of listenig some things when we're just children, but only when we grow up we can understand, sometimes with much pain, what we've being listenign and ignoring for a long time.

Seated in my room, in front of my computer, writing these lines full of feelings and just after a night walk, I start to remember recent experiences that have filled me with happiness, moments that made me feel alive... I mean, I fell in love. However, it is hard to understand how that feeling can totter like a tower of cards.

When do we fall in love? I don't really know, sometimes love is like a virus, not because it is bad, but because, at times, we do not realize about what we feel until we feel it.

What I said above is because I don't remember the moment when I started to fall in love with the person I still appreciate with all of my heart. I think it all began when I started to wait for his messages, when I walked too many miles (in the morning or at night) to visit him, when his company became the only thing I longed for and made my day better. Yes, in that moment I fell in love, and like a person in love, I started to give my all because he changed my bitterness in happiness, he made me feel he was everything and that he deserved everything.

When we read how good a person makes you feel, we inmediatly think about the perfect man or woman, but it's not like that. In my case I can say that he makes me feel like that because he is a gentle boy, he knows how to listen, with a bit of shyness and an unique way of making fun.

Those characteristics were the bait that my heart swallowed, yes, my noble heart, and I'm not lying when I say it is noble. From that moment on my love became a good mornig and a good night, long minutes waiting for him, regular visits, long conversations, laughs, moment to share a meal, long walks at night and many other things that would fill a thousand lines.

But it is said that time is the best judge because he can say the truth and show it.  In my case I wasn't the exception because though they have beeen many the moments that have kept me tied to him, time has arisen a dissappointment, dissapointment? I don't know how to name it.

All this time, I've lived wonderful experiences in wich he has shown his affection, his care and has opened his heart... but... there's always a "but". I found that his heart is more inclined to a person who doesn't give him much, a person who clearly just want to live a moment and not a life, a person who can put all these moments aside by just sending a heart in a message. This is... how would you name it?

Just as I've said, is it a dissappointment? His love have not diminished, our experiences have united us more, but I think that they are not strong enough so as to make him see how deep and sincere my feelings are. I don't dare to call it dissappointment, because it would mean that he is a dissapointment, and I promised that I would never say something different to "I love you".

There are days in which I think it is better to give up in a battle that my mind says again and again that I will not win, but I feel that I should keep giving my all no matter the results, because I hope that he can understand how sincere and real are the things that comes from my heart.

what do you think? is it a dissappointment?