Nieces and Alcoholics Anonymous

Jenna’s in town and Sylvia got here 2 weeks ago. Jenna is visiting. Sylvia is living with her fiancé here in San Francisco. They're to be married in North Carolina September 12. They met last year when Sylvia was visiting me.

Jenna’s an alcoholic, a real one. The kind where drinking is going to kill her in a few years. About 3 years ago she chose life and started going to AA on an obsessive basis. While this is a demanding commitment, it's so much better that dying slowly and in a way that hurts the people around you.

Sylvia’s an alcoholic. She can probably drag on a few years more than J, but she'll have to do it without a real life - no decent significant other, no decent friends, no decent job. She is a binge drinker, not having to drink every day, but after that first drink -look out. No stopping until completely shit faced.

Jim and I took Sylvia to a wine tasting party last week and the hazards of her condition were brought to full view. Drunk, acting stupid and finally the meltdown and ultimatums from her fiancé.

Sylvia’s a tough case because she doesn't drink like a dipsomaniac and she routinely denies there's a problem. I was even a little on the fence until the party. Now I believe this must be addressed because of the collateral affect her drinking has on her life - like being out of control, having trashy friends, sneakiness - the kind of wide eyed, innocent denial of anything being the matter, the lack of self confidence. Drinking seems to go with her anxiety.

Anyway, off we went, Wednesday evening, to attend an AA meeting in Fremont. We eventually found the meeting at a Presbyterian church. It was Spanish speaking, so off we went to an English speaking meeting at a very non-descript building next to our town's very own high-end French restaurant. It was also the oldest

We were about 20 minutes late, but welcomed to my first AA meeting. I sat back and listened to the monologues from each attendee. Everyone got their turn. I passed. Sylvia and Jenna spoke. Jenna was cute, funny and smart, as she tends to be - in addition to very sincere. Sylvia was the surprise. With all her resisting and denying, I expected her to pass (as she told us she would). She instead spoke frankly and honestly about her first drink, a 40 oz beer thing and finishing it. Her friends couldn't, and going forward continued drinking them under the table. They would get tipsy, but she would have to close the bar. Wow! A real admission, and communicated with intelligence and confidence. There will be disappointments in the future, but for today, I'm proud.

Tomorrow we're going to a wine tasting. This is going to be interesting with the 2 AA princesses. Will Sylvia drink? If she does, can she stop?