Usain Bolt impression to make it upstairs!!!!😂 🤷 🙋 😆 🤪 😔

Jesus fucking shit tits fuck. I certainly don't do things by halves. I doubled down on my original fuck-up of forgetting to check-in online by accidentally putting my left luggage ticket that I needed to pay for (you know, to get my luggage and more importantly, my passport back from the incompetent fuckwits here so that I can finally check the hell in!), when I'm already running super late (the latter part is due to my own incompetence!), into the slot for Euro banknotes instead of the slot for tickets in the parking ticket machine (wtf Italy, why can't I just pay the left luggage folk like what normal airports do but nooo) and the machine ate my ticket because of my mistake (!!!) and without a ticket to prove you left your bag you ain't getting no bags back! 😂

Cue a mad dash around the airport to the info desk for help to figure out what to do then to the parking ticket office people, whose office is currently hidden deep in the fog outside the airport, like something out of Silent Hill, which I was given incorrect directions to and whose staff had to come and physically unlock the machine and even then couldn't retrieve my ticket. Suddenly a dude came from nowhere to shout at parking man who was helping me, it turns out he's confused as hell because the machine charged him for my ticket (mystery of the missing ticket solved!) so I had to give the guy €6 back to get my ticket from him then do a terrible Usain Bolt impression to make it upstairs to retrieve my bag (which earlier took over 30 mins for them to bother their arses to track it in and could quite easily have been the same situation again to get it back but wasn't thank goodness), and then dash back downstairs to the check-in desk which technically should have closed already. The Ryanair check-in guy was actually horrified at my lateness and looked more anxious than me 😂 We were both sweating bullets! He ran with me to get my late check-in fee fast-tracked (bye-bye €55 😥), people in the queue were pissed but 🤷 Then I had to dash back upstairs, with the help of very kind info desk lady again, to make it through security to the departure gate 😅 All this after having consumed 2x 8.5% beers, one 5.5% beer, a 9% beer and a 51.4% whisky - honestly, I'm kinda proud of myself for making it to the gate without having some kind of breakdown or faceplanting! 🤣 Had to chuck the remainder of the whisky though 😔

So, did I make my flight in the end you might be wondering? Well the only reason it hasn't already taken off and that I'm sat here typing out this non-fiction novella is that thank fuck, the flight was miraculously delayed by two hours 😂😂😂 Praise be to the travel gods. However, some of the flights are now being cancelled because of bad weather conditions here so after all that I may be stuck in Bologna regardless 🤪 If anyone feels like being a good Samaritan and picking me up from Edinburgh airport should I make it back tonight hit me up and I will owe you big time! 🙋🙏

Can I go nap now? 😆

#winningsofar #worthit #fuckadhd