living in the life or life lived?

In reality, life is lived in very different ways by people,
When is time just a question of movement in frequency, how is it then that a life that has been lived longer equals more experience? Some people spend most their breath waiting for others, others live their lives caring about what others think, some follow the norm of "how life is supposed to be" which are all fine, but it does not conclude that that means living in the life, but more life lived.

But life is very different for everyone, some are more active in living in their life, while others more wait for life to happen to them. So with such different levels of living, how is it possible for someone from one range to determine what the other person process should be.
The observer is not the guide of the creator, nor is the creator of the manual of the observer; they both serve two very different roles.

Wisdom and guidance is something that takes time to get build.
The wise would suggest When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps (Confucius).

thank you.