Culture and Self-Inflicted Injuries

Bride On Traditional Wedding Day

Culture is the totality of people's way of life. It ranges from dressing, food, marriage, festivals, to burial. It is a conglomeration of how a group of people, a community run their affairs.

Culture can be negative or positive. The cultural practices that promote development, unity and progress can say to be positive while those that do otherwise are negative culture.

I want to discuss two out of many cultural practices I consider Self-Inflicted injuries in my community. And they are:

• Burial and
• Marriage

https://goo.gl/images/AKvBHL

Burial or burial ceremony as some put it, is a process of laying to rest a deceased person. It is a way and manner loved ones pay their last respect to their deceased person. This is usually a painful moment, seeing a loved one lowered to the grave of no return. It is a moment of sober reflection, as we know that one day in like manner, we will meet our end.

I have watched burial done by Western people(Europeans) on films and I believe that reflect the true state of their practice. The very close persons such as the parents, husband or wife, kids, friends, concerned persons, and the priest will move to cemetary on blacks, the hair-tie, eye-glass, shoes, and top and lower dresses, all black. In less than an hour, the burial is over and people disperse. Very few relatives may follow the bereaved home.
Very simple, less expensive, and time saving.
Not so in my community. The reverse is the case. Burials are well prepared, sometimes weeks or months. Renovation of house is sometimes done. Money is borrowed if it is not available for purchase of cow, food items and assorted drinks. Invitation Card is printed and announcements are made on radio and television by those who can afford it, and those who cannot, will make theirs in the churches, markets, meetings and community gatherings.
I hope you are not laughing?

And all this while, the body of the deceased will be in the mortuary accumulating debt because if you bury the person without immediate ceremony, like after two weeks, the priest will not attend.
Don't get it twisted, I have buried my both parents. So I know what I am saying.

As a young boy, I witnessed active 7 days of burial. Now the rule has changed, it is 3 days.
Three days of eating, drinking and dancing that I lost a loved one? That is height of absurdity. No European will believe it. No sane man will approve it. But some anti-change will bend in protecting this culture, this tradition, this precept.

People cry when they lose their loved ones to the cold hands of death. Not always because the person is gone, but how would they fund the burial. Some borrow, others do it out of the taste of the culture and community, and people frown at it. Some believe that when burial is great, the deceased will be happy and rest in peace.
Burial should be a time of sober reflection, rethink, attitudinal changes, and not time of stupendous spending.

https://goo.gl/images/QKQy5t

Another cultural practice that is Self-Inflicted injury in my community is marriage. From my observation of European marriage rite, it is simple, time-saving and cost-effective.
A young man sees a lady he loves, approaches her. If they reach agreement, they inform their parents. And as they so wish, they go to their priest or court with few witnesses and marriage is consummated. Lovely.

Marriage in my community is a big project, equivalent to building a house. Yes. Event planner are contracted and other contracts are given out such as, the person that will supply drinks, the chef, the MC, and host of others.
It is complete after one has done traditional marriage and church/white wedding. One without the other, some people argue, that you have not married. As a matter of fact, that you are commiting fornication. Lol!
Considering the harsh economy, a young man spends his first earned #500,000 at minimum to get married. The rich at lowest will spend 2.5 million naira, about $7000. All for white wedding and reception.

Many are not getting married due to the cost. Both men and female are victims of this practice. At the age of 35, a man is still finding his feet to accumulate enough to get married, a marriage that sometimes end in divorce.

These two factors have been a stumbling block to economic life of many. Many have plunged into bankrupcy after the experience.

I hope our generation will do something about it to save the economic life of our unborn generation. As for us, we are already in the mess and the effect is unpalatable.

THE END

Thanks for reading my post. Kindly comment about the situation in your community. I really want to know your take.
Hope you find this upvotable.