Are you planning to get married? You better consult with a marriage counselor first!
Excerpt: If we want to know why people divorce, often so quickly after they met and got married, we need to examine the reasons that got them to walk the aisle in the first place. The world now is different than it was a generation or two ago, when people were in a survival mode and simply wanted to meet someone to fill some gaps. Divorce was, for most people, not an option and therefore, our parents and grandparent's generations remained married till they died. There is nothing noble in remaining in a situation that causes pain or dissatisfaction. There is nothing noble in sacrificing yourself.
If you are about to get married, I strongly advise you to receive some observation from a marriage counselor, a professional. They will be able to see clearly your issues, enlighten you, and make you more aware of the near future that awaits you. The purpose is to make your bond stronger, and the younger you are in life-experiences, the better their observations will be for you.
Credit: wishguy
Hi,
I have recently divorced after being married for less than a year. I am looking for a new spouse (got anyone for me?), but I also want to know why has it become so popular in recent years to divorce so shortly after the wedding?
Zoei
Zoei,
Your observation is right. As the changes on earth go faster each day and humans discover more of their true essence they realize that their current relationships no longer satisfy them and are not appropriate for who they are becoming.
A large percentage of the population get divorced nowadays, much more than in the past (your parents' generation for example), because they have chosen to get married for the wrong reasons ('wrong' - in relation to their higher good). For example, if you are poor and have suffered from lack of money all your life, and you meet a wealthy guy who shows interest in you and perhaps loves you, part of you will want to marry him to answer your need for financial support and a life of luxury.
In general, it could be said that if you marry someone to fulfill a need, to complete something that is missing within you, then you had better reconsider because such a reason is not appropriate anymore.
Humanity is moving towards a way of living in which each individual will fulfill all of his/her own needs. This means that each person will be able to create for themselves all they need – material things and artificial needs alike. Therefore, when people realize that they can create for themselves abundance, self-worth, inner strength, appreciation and love, they start searching for other reasons to stay with their spouse. Most often they simply don't find the reasons and choose to divorce.
I repeatedly recommend for people to think carefully before choosing to get married; to consider who they are now and who they choose to be in the future; to feel their spouse and the interactions with them. Reading articles and learning about True Love, enlightenment, sovereignty, will help to expand one's awareness and understanding so that choices will be more appropriate.
There is nothing wrong with getting into a relationship when you are still not complete, still having gaps and unattended issues within you. Often, living with each other, next to a kindred spirit, is a great help for one's progress. The trick is to be aware of this. Because when the obstacles will come - and they will - you will know their origin. You will be wise to say, "Ah, I know why I am jealous of my partner, it's because I still feel insecurity within myself". And when you have that insight, you do not blame your partner but heal that wound within you. And therefore, both of you can cross that hurdle with success. other people, unaware, would simply choose to divorce.
For you, Zoei, I'd recommend observing your life and your inner state before you jump into another relationship. If you truly seek true love then you must heal the wounds that your divorce has caused and prepare the ground for new choices to be made. Having said that, not choosing is also kind of a choice, of course, and the universe will reflect, as always, that "non-choice" as well by planting you where you are right now until you choose to choose.
Good luck!
You know. Before I got married or even before I met my wife I used to tell myself that I would never see a marriage counsellor or take any marriage course. Boy was I wrong. My wife convinced me to take the marriage course and the things I learned there I are still applicable to this day.
So when something happens or we get into an argument I remind myself, and her, what we learned on the course and would then refer to those lessons and work things out.
So I know for a fact that these courses or marriage counsels do work and they are extremely necessary. You learn so much about yourself and your partner.
Indeed 👍
Yes, decision always matter because one decision let an new world exist for you, so first of all you have to read yourself means i saw many people who marry in the influence of other people and the more common saying from other people are like, your age is passing when you will marry, marry soon other wise no one will marry you, there are people who enter into married world after listening these type of comments from fellow people, and in other case people enter into marriage life for the materialistic needs like security, means married for the money and luxurious life. but we have to understand our life can enjoy the materialistic things for short time but our life need more organic things, we need to get the more knowledge about your own inner self because in my opinion you would noticed that sometimes you try to attempt something but you will feel some inner sound which transfers some feelings which reflects as it trying to say that to stop this work it's not good for you, so always listen that sound because your inner self is your real guidance and it will help you to take the correct decisions for you in life. Thanks for sharing and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed. 🙂
If the wound had not healed yet, what should we do? while on the other hand the family demanded that we get married.
Indeed.
But do you remember that enlightenment is about freedom from the family and old ties? So one needs to ask oneself how to do that and still be respectful to the family and oneself. ☺️
Yes, I just remembered. Precisely because I respect the family so consider it.
Marriage requires perseverance and sincerity of intent. Various problems faced by married couples, mostly leads to unclear intentions. Marriage is not just to boost sustenance or merely bring together two lovebirds in holy ties.
Rather, the intention of marriage must be based on sincerity.
If back to basics, should people want to get married should master the science of marriage. Both parties, both prospective husband and future wife should be able to understand each other. More than that, they must understand how to look at marriage.
If this is all there is, it seems no longer necessary to come to the consultant!
If we spend our time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to our heart, then we're allowing them to hurt us a second time in our mind.
this is a good advice because I am not married,
I will try it as you say
I agree with you .. marriage it takes careful consideration. because we are going to build a new family with characters and behaviors that are different from each other. the wedding is filling together, sharing the stories of joy and sorrow among us ... may we always be happy
Marriage is very sacred act so one must consult someone for counseling and along with counseling both girl and boy should pass sometime so that they understand where they are suitable for one another or not.
very good writing 👍
divorce occurs in a relationship is the lack of commitment and trust but many are doing this because of economic factors,
this is my opinion
Society likes to create a projection of themselves on others as a way of justifying their choices in life. Also, for many years, a person was determined as successful if they had a steady job, got married, had kids, bought a house and nice car. But now, things have changed and there are more and more young people like you. However, a lot of people in society have not evolved enough to accept that being successfull nowadays is not necessarily having all that I mentoned above. Basically, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself and what you want, no matter what society wants for you. Courage! You'll see, many will not admit it but will actually be jealous of your lifestyle and choices ;)
The world is changing. And so, the ultimate question that everyone needs to ask themselves is this:
Which you? Which world?