During my forty years as a couple’s therapist, many of my relationship-seeking patients have asked me this question when they meet someone special.

In watching literally hundreds of relationships unfold, I believe that I can answer that question with relative accuracy. I understand what early feelings and behaviors most often predict when a new relationship will transform into long-lasting, true love. Of course, feelings of love can be more urgent in youth, and people tend to be more wary as life progresses, but new couples are new couples at every stage of life. No matter when or how they meet, some people do experience clearly magical connections very early on in a relationship that predict long-term commitment and devotion.

I’ve asked my long-lasting true-love couples what they remember when they met the person who became their long-lasting love. I believe that those early experiences are often the litmus test of whether a relationship has the potential to develop into true love. I’ve had the opportunity to observe new couples who definitely have had those experiences and many are still deeply in love after spending years together. They all shared nine similar experiences very early in their relationship that helped them know that they’d found their soul mates.
1.Surprise
2.Intrigue
3.Timelessness
4.Quickened
5.Fear
6.Certainty
7.Authenticity
8.Synergy
9.Home