you need to live, breath and channel this judgmental approach to life.

Breathe. With an e. Smh.

Anywhere with pregnant women

Luckily I just smoke around babies, which isn't in your list.

Littering is a cornerstone of being a proper Cunt

Not my fault they didn't install a bin within arm's reach.

Littering effectively expresses your disinterest in the environment, contempt for social norms, making work for others.

Indeed. Littering creates work for unemployed people.

Be sure to purchase on credit, but to behave like you can actually afford the monstrosity.

You've just described the average Cypriot.

the real bonus here is that when you're driving such a large car, no one will expect you have a tiny tiny tiny penis.

I'm between a Mini Cooper (cos of all the buttons inside, I just love it) and a large truck. Does that mean I'm average sized?

Don't Tip

I'm actually gonna side with Tarantino on this one. Seriously this time. I never understood why waiters can't just be paid like everyone else — by their employer.

Cheat

I can't even joke about this one. I'm with you.

Never forget, nothing is your fault

Nothing is. What's your point?

Is this the final draft? There's 6 more days to go. Just sayin'.