The thing is, working so hard and keep dreaming about it. Sometimes you can feel that other options are better but actually they are not. Last year I chose the reasonable other option and still dreaming the same thing and sometimes it brings lots of regret.
Sorry to hear that man, i have done the same thing multiple times, so dont get to down on urself. Just know it's never to late to start working towards a new dream!
I personally think of good paying jobs as honey pots, sure it is comfortable and u have security but thats it, u end up living a life u dont really want because of money. Unfortunately we are raised to believe that money is all that really matters, even though we all like to pretend that's not how it is..
Truthfully tho, if u find what u actually love u will be able to make money off it one way or another. Like blogging on steemit 😉