It Is Okay To Let My Child Loses The Game
"I hope I can win either No. 2 or No. 1!"
My son exclaimed with excitement in his eyes before he zoomed off to the field.
So it was sports day at school. And my 7-year-old boy was involved in running and hula hoop. He had been waiting for this day not merely for the event itself but for the medals. He had high hope he would win.
Well, he seldom lost. Or let's put it this way, I seldom let his lost. Whether it was in role-play at home, board game as family activities or anything, I LET him win. So that I could cheer him on. And so that I could see the sparks in his face. Winning lifted his spirit, in return, it lifted mine. Honestly, who doesn't want to win?
Even the quadrillion sperms released were competing to win the race. Duh...
The very first item in the list was performances by students. He was involved in k-pop dance and I would proudly say he pulled it off well. It must be some genes from me or my father. Lol.
Then, I saw him being called to the line. I was nervous and excited because it would be my first time witnessing my child run! And to run as fast as he could to be No. 2 or No. 1.
But, later on he was called back to where he supposed to gather. And no more running? What happened?
Shortly after that, it was the hula hoop competition. Mother instincts sank in as I noticed he weren't prepared. He looked disappointed about something. Surely enough, he lost his hula hoop twirl - he did not even successfully hold it there at the waist for 5 seconds. Once he started twirling, it went straight down to the floor. Plop!
Then, I saw his heart dropped to the floor. Okay, I meant metaphorically. He was looking down. Right after that, my heart sank. He felt sad, so was I.
I wanted so much to run into the field to give him a hug, but we, parents were not supposed to be at the field. It would cause more chaos than fun if all parents were in there. Trust me, parents could be throwing fits of screaming hysterics anytime had we been allowed to be in the same field with our children.
So....
Everytime when he set his eyes on mine, this was his look. Oh, mummy hopes you know I am right there beside you.
I turned to my husband and he gave me a promising smile, one that implied "everything is going to be alright".
There he was, in the middle of the field, sitting there without much movement, looking sad, for about an hour. No zeal, no excitement - my heart sank to the bottom of the sea.
I prayed, "Lord, I can't be there for him now, You will be there to comfort him, to teach him that it is okay to lose. It is okay to go home without any medal."
One hour later, he started to talk with his friends although he wasn't his normal self yet. That was the moment I knew he must had figured out something. My heart was relieved.
Guess what, he finally turned to us and said "Hi".
It wasn't that bad after all.
Just as he was learning to accept the reality that he lost, I was learning to let him lost - that it was alright if my child lost the game - that it was important to learn about lost. That life isn't about win win and win all the time.
Learning about 'It Is OK To Lose The Game' and Why It Is Important In Life.
What I learned that day was, it is important to learn about losing because in this competitive world, where competition is inevitable, someone will win, thus someone else will lose. Just like the FIFA Football we had concluded. France won, that means, Croatia lost! It will notbe fun at all if we had a football match where it is tie-draw for everyone. Then it is not a match anymore. It is a game where everyone wins.
As much as parents love to shelter and protect their children, we can't do that 24-hour or whole life. Our child needs to learn about losing so that they learn how to manage the sad disappointed feelings. And then they learn how to rise up again with the loving support of their parents or caregivers. Life will be full of disappointment and if our child is not given the chance to experience that, he or she will find it difficult to cope during adulthood. But if he learns about losing since young, then he will have the capability to brace and to brave through upcoming challenges in his life. Life comes in a package with challenges.
I realised when my child learns to lose, he becomes mature and stronger in his mind and emotion. Yes, when one wins, you elevate his self-confidence. Yet, when one loses, and with proper input and support, he learns that he can be better and he finds out ways to improve. Or at least he finds out that reservoir inside him for him to ponder about failure is not the end of the world. As a result, resilience is inculcated in him. This character is crucial in child's development.
Our children need to know that life is not all about roses. Life is about roses with a lot of thorns. Life is full of ups and downs. Life can be victorious and also defeat. Life can be a calm river and also a rough sea.
I am determined today that it is alright if my child loses his game. Therefore, the next round of board game or card game or badminton at home, I will just play my best, and won't be so easy for him. Because it is okay to let my children lose the game.
I want my children to know this - when we win, we praise God, when we lose, we praise God.
As Mary Docter puts it, "Win or lose, I will still fell good about myself. And that's what is important."
I will like to add on, "Win or lose, I will feel good about my friends who win. And so I have win myself. And I am going to be fine."
After the sports day had concluded, he came running to find us and he was 100% absolutely fine. One remark he made, "I didn't win any medal today. So sad. But the medal is not made from real gold or silver anyway. So, where are we going for lunch?"
Join us @steemitbloggers Animation By @zord189
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://iamjadeline.vornix.blog/2018/07/17/it-is-okay-to-let-my-child-loses-the-game/
Nice post. Sometimes adult need to learn to accept lose too.
Thank you Janice. Oh yes I am still learning to accept lost. :)
Good parenting advice! Kids will be thankful for this in near future :)
Thank you @wilhb81 :)
That last line made me giggle! "Where we going of lunch?"
I'm glad to see he was okay at the end, it does stink when we lose but we just practice harder. Next time we could have better luck. :)
Yes, me too, am glad he was okay.
He did say must practice harder for next year. Haha.
awwh! You go little dude! I bet he'll be great! Can't wait to hear!!
Kids always wants to come first whether it's the exams or some competition or some sports events.
As parents, we need to encourage them when they win and console them when they feel dejected after losing.
Nice one, thanks for sharing.
Oh yes, winning is like part of them. Thank you so much for visiting and your thoughtful comment @coolguy123 :)
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