I'm an addict
I've known for a long time that I have an addictive personality. As a child, I'd play computer games until late into the night and wake up the next morning, excited about playing them again. Many a school holiday was lost in this rather pointless cycle.
Knowing that I'm like this though has helped me occasionally - there's never been the temptation to try drugs for example, knowing that I'd get hooked and ruin my life. But some addictions are harder to spot and it took me a little longer than it should have done to spot this one.
I spent this morning finishing researching and writing a number of articles that I've been working on all week and subsequently spammed the Steemit community all morning. Having had some good responses to a couple of my pieces, I stopped for lunch knowing that my afternoon would be consumed with looking after the-toddler-gorilla.
We had a nice time, playing in the garden, building some blocks, playing knights but I wasn't all there. A part of me was still here, composing my next article, my next original idea, wanting to see if I'd been upvoted or received any comments and it was at this point I realised that something needs to change. I even started composing a new series this morning entitled "The mundane" with 1st episode being about "The Drawer". Here's a snippet:
in olden times, drawers made the perfect sized bed for a baby (I'm not recommending this) where a cot or bed wasn't available. At least I think this used to happen - it seems plausible after all.
I just want to write, share, research and produce something different no matter how pointless.
For just over 2 weeks, the-mrs-gorilla has been tolerant of me spending large amounts of time here:
"Look, my account's worth $500"
I'd say.
"Is it real money?"
She'd reply.
"Not yet, I'm leaving it in there"
I'd respond.
So before the-mrs-gorilla gets properly mad with me and I neglect the-toddler-gorilla too much, this is me accepting my addiction and trying to streamline my activities as a result. I still plan to write a lot, continuing the series that I've already started but my posts will become more clustered and responses less timely. I'll do my best to keep reading and responding to your work too, but it'll be different. Real life must take priority.
I still have 1,000 ideas that I want to and will share in due course. But this is my way of convincing myself that I'll do it. By making it public makes it an easier change to make.
