If you dabble in the dabs, tabs, or cocaine slabs, then this post is for you. I'll teach you to become a rehabilitated user.

_{Tripping on sunshine}

Drugs are awesome!

Yes, they are. No matter what your poison is, drugs provide a quick escape from reality and a state of awe. To deny this fact would be to deny the very reason why drug users use drugs in the first place; as an escape.

That feeling of awe is the result of overwhelming relief, a relief that's immediately felt after that first hit, after that first swig, or after that first toke. Smokers get it. Drinkers get it. Junkies get it. Feeling relieved of all your problems is awesome.

We're all addicted to something that provides relief, and for some of us, we look for our relief through different substances.

I used to love using different drugs in different ways to better explore different mind states because changing my perception was the best way to relieve myself from the psychological torments that certain experiences cause a person throughout their life.

Reality check

I've come to realize recently however, that I was an addict. Not through self reflection, (because people who're high have no rationality about them) I discovered this through a serious reality check. Police came through my home, confiscated every drug in my possession, and informed my family immediately of my serious drug problem.

As I sat there watching this squad of officers pass me by with their looks of disgust, I realized I was an addict. I had let myself fall under the illusion that my assortment of finely picked, highest of quality products were somewhat helping me with my day-to-day activities. As if cocaine had increased my productivity, LSD had increased my spirituality, Methamphetamine prolonged my periods between sleeping, MDMA increased my sexual confidence, and Marijuana helped me wind down at the end of the week. In between all of that, I was experimenting with DMT and other numerous substances. None of these things benefited my life.

That awesomeness that I felt whilst being high had gone. I had been thrown back in to reality and was now branded as a junkie. Of course, I don't think I was ever a junkie, but then again, most junkies say that.

What I was though, is not the point. What I am now, is.

Chaos, meet Rationality

I have since reshaped myself. I've had to reinvent myself a few times over the last 4 years of my short 24 years on this planet, but every time has been different. Before, I just made bad choices, however this time I was letting drugs make choices for me. The change has been intense, but I've managed.

Unlike most people, I went cold turkey because I had too with pending drug charges hanging over my head. I had to remove it from my life completely. I will be honest, there have been times where I've relapsed, and each time I have regretted my decision the next day. Taking drugs as a quick relief always seems like a good idea at the time, and immediately after the first taste you're again hit with that feeling of relief, but that feeling only lasts as long as the high does and once that high is gone you start to look for another one; an endless cycle.

Everyone's life is different, and it's the experiences we're subjected too that shape us. For drug users, the drug habits that we subject ourselves too, shape us more than we know.

Realizing you're addicted

I had no idea I was shaping myself into a pitiful human-being that relied on a high to get me through the day. At the time I thought I was a genius, little did I know I was becoming dumber & dumber, killing my brain cells faster & faster each day. That may sound like a cop out to those who still use drugs, but it's a fact. I know this because as I've rehabilitated, I've had to relearn a lot of things, my vocabulary being number one.

I had no idea just how far I'd let myself go until I had recovered. I hid it well from others and from myself, using excuses to justify the means. That's the hardest part for a drug user, is knowing when to quit. As I mentioned above, once that feeling of awe kicks in, you think you need it to last forever as it solves your problems right there in that moment.

Drugs aren't all bad, addiction is. You can use drugs in moderation, but if you get to the point where you need them around you 24/7, then you're an addict.

DDOS: Distributed Denial of Self

If that's you, then right about now you're pissed. I know because a year ago I would've been reading this, thinking "this cunt doesn't know what he's talking about, he's probably a fucking churchie". The fact is, I'm right, you know I am, but you're in denial. It's okay. Every drug addict is in denial and that's the reason they're a drug addict. Just as you like to relieve yourself from the everyday pains that life causes you, you also like to relieve yourself from the pain that your denial is causing you.

As an addict, the worst suffering comes from the internalized conflict going on inside your mind. You're constantly battling back & forth with yourself making excuses for why you do it whilst also denying that you do it. You're playing devil's advocate and it's never ending. The only way an addict knows how to deal with that internalized war going on inside their head, is to find another score that trumps the last high they had.

Denial is what all of this attributes too.

Hard fork your brain

When we're doing something wrong, we deny it. After all, it's easier to deny something than to deal with it properly. Push it aside and deal with it later, right? Wrong. Once we identify that there's a problem we need to deal with that problem directly, otherwise you begin to feel regret for not having done so.

When we choose to push our problems under the carpet, they later resurface. When our problems resurface, we find some way of projecting them on to other people. I've done this many times when blowing up at someone for something minor, when really it's my own situation that's pissing me off.

Once you come to the self-actualization that you're causing these problems for yourself, you can kick your problems ass and move on with your life.

If you can turn yourself around and instead prosper, then you can do anything.

Disciplined

I feel like I can now do anything. I feel like shouting it from the roof tops. I'm no longer hindered by drugs, and if someone asked me to join them I could happily deny (or say yes because I'm disciplined enough to do what I like).

I work out twice a day. I spend my afternoons studying music. I've started my own record label. I spend a lot of time trading money on exchanges instead of spending it on drugs. I enjoy skateboarding when I get the chance. I enjoy each meal of the day. I like sleeping after a long day of getting shit done. I've found joy in the simple things.

These simple things have created discipline in my life and through being disciplined I find I have no time & little reason to do drugs. I don't need them, nor do I want them. Okay, I lie. I do sometimes get the sudden urge for a nice fat joint, but I know now that it's only a quick relief. I would rather find my relief comes from my success than in my squander.

I recommend that everyone creates discipline in their life, no matter who they are, because without we're lost.

---

Thomas Te Aroha Kohi
_{Owner, Thirsty Records | Hip Hop Artist | Entrepreneur
I was born in New Zealand and now reside in Australia. I write about many different subjects, mostly about those that affect me personally. I like to philosophize about each subject and do the same with my music. I'm addicted to knowledge though self-educated. I'm original & true in everything I do because I don't like pretending. I'm the realest person out.}
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