Week 2 of sobriety ( wish me luck) Hopefully I can beat my old record

As a part of my job search, I was forced to quit smoking weed once again. Originally I was sober for over 1 year after smoking for 13, but fell off the wagon in February when I became homeless. Having lost my life saving - roughly $40,000 when I invested everything into the market in mid December 2017, the mounting stress lead me back to my dark place, because it was my only offer of refuge.

For 2 months I went back to smoking daily. I remember the first time, having extreme social anxiety, it was the first good night of sleep I had in over a year. Free of night terrors and freakish dreams, I was actually able to have a peaceful night of sleep. Now being back in the early stages of withdrawal, I am back to all the terrible things that come as a result. Cold sweats, waking up every hour on the hour, racing thoughts and endless life-altering nightmares. There are somethings that are unimaginable, until you go through weed withdrawal and witness them first hand in your dreams.

Being on day 15 I no longer crave weed. Not that I ever did. Most times that I decided to smoke up, I didn't feel that I needed to or I wanted to, I simply did it because I had nothing else to do. Slowly as the weeks progressed, I found myself getting lazier and lazier - though that could have been due to my depression. Nevertheless, in one breath a part of me misses the blissful sleep you can have when you smoke weed. There is nothing like smoking a joint and going straight to bed. But on the other hand, I also miss having a clear state of mind. Weed always seemed to leave me with brain fog and an disrupted speech pattern, but then again I am still having the same problems with my speech, which is probably due to my social anxiety.

Nevertheless, I hope that this time around I stay off weed for good. Though they are legalizing weed 100 percent in my country in the coming months, the adds they play on the radio and the TV every two minutes makes weed sound like it has become a worse drug than when it was illegal. Sadly, as long as the mainstream media continues forward with this philosophy, people who smoke weed will continue to be marginalized and I have no interest in that.