Most of my suffering in my life has come from a lack of acceptance.

I've panicked and obsessively strategized about how to avoid the bad thing rather than just accepting the bad thing and moving on.

The bad thing usually isn't that bad if you accept it, whatever "it" is for you: Oh you lost friends? Oh you are gay? Oh you are less attractive than you thought? Oh you were a slightly worse person than you thought?

Just accept it. Accept it and move on. You'll be okay.