Dems Bring Two Articles of Impeachment Against Trump | The Daily Show

in #abuse5 years ago


For months now, Democrats have been inching closer to bringing articles of impeachment against President Trump. And today, they finally made it official. ANNOUNCER: This is CNN Breaking News. A historic day on Capitol Hill, the House announcing articles of impeachment against the sitting U.S. president, Donald Trump. A president who declares himself above accountability, above the American people, and above Congress's power of impeachment, which is meant to protect against threats to our democratic institutions, is a president who sees himself as above the law. We must be clear: No one, not even the president, is above the law. That's right. The Democrats have officially announced articles of impeachment to show that, other than Steven Seagal, no one is above the law. And I know this sounds weird, but... I'm actually proud of Donald Trump. Yeah, because he's getting impeached, but... I didn't think he would make it three years. -I'm not gonna lie (laughter) Like, Trump getting this far into his presidency without being impeached is a lot like when a dog accidentally drives a car into a tree. Yeah, the dog crashed, but he made it, like, eight blocks. -That's impressive (laughter) I don't even know how he put it into drive. -He barely knows letters. (laughter) Now, there was a big debate within the Democratic Party about how many articles of impeachment to bring against Donald Trump. But in the end, they decided to strike with surgical precision. President Trump now facing two charges as the top Democrats of the key committees stood together to announce it all this morning. Abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. Democrats have decided to narrow the scope of impeachment to the two articles of impeachment that they believe are the easiest to prove and backed up by the most evidence. Because we are operating in a universe where... Republicans are challenging some of the most basic facts, Democrats want to make this case as airtight as possible. Yes. Only two articles of impeachment: abuse of power and obstruction of Congress. Which means the Democrats are showing a lot of restraint. Because, I mean, let's be honest, Trump has done enough crazy shit to merit 2,000 articles of impeachment. Yeah, there was obstruction of justice from the Mueller Report, using the presidency to enrich his businesses, the porn star payoffs, flag molestation, the time he looked directly into an eclipse, and of course, having Don, Jr. I mean, that's impeachment on its own. So... (cheers and applause) So... The good news for Trump is that he's only facing two charges, although, in a way, brought against him, Bill Clinton had four, and Andrew Johnson had 11, which means Trump will have the smallest impeachment of all time. You know that's gonna make him insecure. He's gonna be like, (mimics Trump): "It's not about the size of impeachment, it's about the friction of the conviction." (laughter) -(normal voice): And these... -(cheers and applause) And these impeachment articles could not have come at the worst time for Trump because remember how the president has been saying that the whole Russia investigation was a biased conspiracy against him? Well, he demanded that the Justice Department look into the Russia investigation. And guess what they found? Whomp-whomp. Tonight the Inspector General's report, finally out, into the origins of the Russia investigation and the report finding no anti-Trump bias. TV REPORTER: The Justice Department's inspector general revealing there was no evidence of a witch hunt, determining the FBI had enough evidence to justify the probe at the height of the election. But the inspector general says FBI officials made serious errors and omissions in applying for surveillance warrants to monitor the communications of a Trump campaign associate, Carter Page. TV REPORTER: Despite Trump's mocking of FBI agents he says were using the Russia probe to defeat him, the report found an agent who messaged another after Trump won the White House that he was so elated with the election, it was like watching a Super Bowl comeback. Yeah, not great for Donald Trump. The report did find misconduct by some FBI agents, but, overall, it said that the Russia investigation was justified and there was no anti-Trump bias. So for Trump, this is weird, because it was a little bit of what he wanted, but a lot of what he definitely didn't want. It's almost like he opened his presents on Christmas morning, and he got the VR headset he was hoping for, but it only plays videos of his grandparents having sex. (audience reacting) Yeah. That's disappointing. It's so weird that they make that game in the first place. I mean... Still more fun than the Jesus game, I'll tell you that much. Now, surprisingly, Trump has been taking the bad news better than you would expect, but maybe that's not because he's taking it at all. The I.G. report just came out and I was just briefed on it. It is, uh, incredible. Far worse than I would have ever thought possible. This was an overthrow of the government. This was an attempted overthrow, and a lot of people were in on it, and they got caught. They got caught red-handed. Trump is a legend, man. (laughter) The report came out, and he's just blindly plowing ahead. Like the report says what he wanted it to say. Yeah. 'Cause that's not what it said. And he's just like, "No, it is. It is what it said." Yeah. He's like those people who get dumped and are totally in denial about it. "Donald, you're great but this isn't working." (mimics Trump): "Okay, feel better. I'll see you tomorrow." (normal voice): "No. No, you don't understand. It's over Donald." (mimics Trump): "Love you, too, babe." (normal voice): And, look, we all know Trump didn't read the actual report. I mean, his advisors can't get him to read reports. They probably just gave him some of the bullet points on Denny's placemat. But even if he did read it... (laughter) Even if he did read it, it wouldn't matter. Yeah. Because Trump always creates his own reality, no matter what the facts say. So even if he does get impeached and somehow gets removed from office, there's a good chance Trump will just ignore it and keep being president. They'll walk in like, "Mr. President, "the votes are in, and I'm sorry, you have to leave the White House. It's over." He'd be like, (mimics Trump): "All right, love you, too, babe. See you tomorrow."  

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://fredsuggest.com/dems-bring-two-articles-of-impeachment-against-trump-the-daily-show/

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