Best Intention For Others: How To Have Miracles Happen

When you are in love, your intentions are always pure. You do not hold back anything from anyone, and you give to everyone everything you are. However, when we are involved in an affair, our intentions change. We begin to withhold a lot, try to find excuses to avoid and become distant.


This is due to the fact that we are involved with someone who is doing everything in his power to tear us apart. He sees us as enemies and is constantly trying to destroy us. If he is succeeding, he will continue to do so and if he is failing, he will blame us. It is usually at this point that we start to develop a paranoia towards others.

Our security is threatened and we become obsessed about protecting ourselves from his attacks. This makes us suspicious of everyone, even those that we believe to be good friends. Our fear also affects our mental state, because we begin to believe that we should be paranoid because others might be after us. Our paranoia is not unwarranted. The fact is that paranoia can be a protective reaction.

It's important that we realize that our actions, while it may seem like we are simply protecting ourselves from danger, actually have the opposite effect. If we are carrying a grudge against another person, then all of our actions point to us being defensive. The best intentions are not defensive actions. Your actions are directed towards yourself. You have to learn how to give.

When you take the best intentions for getting along and working with others, then they will expect you to give in to their needs. When you give in, you become vulnerable. If you are constantly defensive, then people will be suspicious of you and will begin to question your true motives.

You must also realize that if you are in a compromising situation, your ego will most likely take first priority. You will begin to think that you have 'done' everything wrong. You will tell yourself that you didn't do enough to 'win' and that you have to 'work harder.' In fact, your primary goal is to avoid taking responsibility for your actions.

Next, you will begin to focus on how much you 'need' them. Rather than focusing on what you want, you will begin to evaluate your 'Needs' more. In other words, rather than asking, "What do I have to give to get them," you will ask, "What do I need to get them for me?" You will become obsessed with looking at the negative instead of the positive.

Finally, you will convince yourself that you have nothing to offer. You will convince yourself that the 'other' person does not really want you, or that you do not really deserve that person. You will become obsessed with avoiding any potential conflict. If you continue to use these and other similar thoughts, you will never be able to have positive intentions for others.

One of the biggest reasons we drift away from our intentions is because we imagine that we are always talking to someone or talking about someone. When this happens, we lose the perspective of being the one in control. We often become so involved with the other person, that we actually forget to do our own listening first. This will happen even if it is a conscious effort to do so. For instance, when you are talking to your spouse, you may inadvertently become distracted and start talking about your significant other.

To have the best intentions for others means that you need to be attentive to the other person. Listen intently and ask open-ended questions. You need to allow the other person the space to speak and then give them the time they need to voice their opinion. If you criticize, it is important to do so in a subtle way. The person's feelings will come into play. Do not use harsh words and/or phrases such as, "You are not being honest" and similar statements.

You should also remember to be genuine with the other person. Always 'be yourself', even if it may be uncomfortable to be so. In addition, be sure to keep your personal opinions to yourself as far as how the event unfolded unless you can discuss them with the other party. The best intentions for others means that you don't need to worry too much about what the other person thinks, so long as you behave appropriately in every situation.


In order to be the most successful in life, you must have a good balance between your actions and your thoughts. Be careful to not say one thing and do another. For example, if you think that an idea is brilliant, but you don't feel comfortable talking about it, don't tell anyone about it. It may turn people off, but you won't be able to accomplish anything if people don't know what you're referring to.