Dear reader

Is socializing exhausting?

I truly believe it is. It was my first thought as I watched the film Nosedive. Keeping up appearances (the BBC series is a favourite of mine), living by the rules of others, being present at parties/celebrations if you rather prefer to stay home and do something else...

By now it's over thirty years ago I stopped pleasing most people.
That did not work out well. If people are used to the fact you always show up, are the one who'll solve their problems, call, ask how they are doing and pay for them a sudden change is not accepted and friendships come to an end.
I deleted most people out of my life, family included. After all these years it's still a relief to me. I can be me. I do not need to wear my happy face, be a friendly, helpful person and... I no longer attract abusive people.

source

I am in the top 10 of the engagement league hosted by @abh12345 but this doesn't mean I am engaging in real life at such a high level.

In reality, I hardly engage and if it's on my terms, when it fits me.

I use more words on Steem as in real life.
Who knows me don't need my words to hear what I say.
I noticed some people always read/hear something bad in what others say.
Immediately they label them as hostile or negative. At the same time, they always have an excuse for their own behavior, the way they express themselves.

Expressing yourself is difficult, in written words even more.
It's not easier if you speak the same language or have some life experiences in common. We all have our own way of expressing ourselves.
If you feel attacked first ask yourself why. Is it really that other person who doesn't like you because of the color of your skin or the country you live in or is it you who feels uncomfortable with it and have a lack of self-esteem?
If you feel good about yourself there's no need to say you are proud to be... A real personality doesn't not feel the need to repeat this endlessly. It only shows how desperate you are.

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