How to rebuild trust in a relationship(Wafrica Guest Post)

The work below is Authored by @osigbhemeh, edited and posted by @mcsamm for @wafrica.

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Hello everyone.

Everybody has been in one relationship or the other, either relationships from family members, close friends, relatives, spouses among others. You find out that what kills a relationship, or the major reason why people don't last in their relationship is simply TRUST. When trust is breached in a relationship, it takes time to heal, that is, if the relationship doesn't end.

Trust can be said to be relying on or putting your confidence in someone or something. Trust is earned and not demanded, so in a situation where one puts his/her trust in you, they fully believe that they won't be disappointed. That's why if this trust is breached, it's always hard to fix. Trust is the foundation of every relationship, it's just like a building without a strong foundation, a time will come when it will surely collapse. Since trust is the foundation of every relationship, it should be treated with every cautiousness. It takes time to build a relationship where trust has been breached, but the truth is that the relationship can still go back to the way it was from the onset. Here are a few tips on how to rebuild trust in a relationship.

BY APOLOGIZING:

Saying "sorry" means you've acknowledged the fact that you're at fault and you want a fresh start by apologizing. An apology that comes directly from the heart is the best apology that can be given to someone you offended. If you've wronged someone, you must humble yourself and throw your pride away by using the word "sorry". It seriously won't take anything from us to say we are sorry. In order for the person you've wronged to forgive you, they'll need to understand that you know the level of hurt they are going through, and the guilt must be evident in the manner in which you are apologizing. They'll tend to forgive quickly if they've seen the guilt burning inside of you.

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HONESTY:

Honesty which is the direct opposite of dishonesty simply means to be transparent. When you know deep down that you've broken the trust between you and your partner, you'll need to be honest by coming out plain, transparent to him/her and allowing your partner to know that you care about their well-being. After apologies, honestly then drives in, whatever secret you've been holding back from your partner must be revealed to avoid a repeat of previous problems in the relationship.

FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION:

Everybody is free to express their dissatisfaction with whatever they feel is displeasing to them. You need to allow your partner to express their feeling of rage and displeasure which comes naturally after they've been offended, hurt or betrayed. In order for your partner to retain her calmness, he/she needs to pour out the rage they've been stomaching although it'll be irksome, it's necessary. Need you be reminded that they shouldn't be cut short while expressing their annoyance and disbelief because if you do, it'll be evident that you don't care about their feelings. So you need to allow them to shout and cry it out, and after everything, it can then be settled.

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PATIENCE:

Patience is a virtue. In building a house or a bridge or something, it doesn't take a few days, it takes a lot of time so that it'll be strong and it'll last for a long time. The same thing is applicable to a relationship devoid of trust, it requires patience to take it back to the way it was. Rebuilding requires a trusted process which is very long, and here, we're talking about rebuilding a shattered heart, it's going to a take a lot of time, so it requires patience. It depends on the heart of the person, rebuilding may take years, that's when your partner will know that you truly love him/her, if you can wait for this long period of time. Another thing is, after the betrayal, things won't just go the exact way they were, in fact, don't let them know that it's must hey must trust you, just do your thing and trust the process and eventually everything will go back to normal.

CONSIDER THE OFFENDER'S REACTION:

Some people may say sorry for the sake of "sorry', while others may say sorry because they are really sorry. Before trust is given back after a breach, you must first consider the offender's reaction. Are they really sorry because they want the relationship to continue? Or they are sorry just for the sake of being sorry? Are they ready to improve and do better next time? All these are questions that must be asked within before entrusting someone again. But, if they are ready to move on and are showing a sign of regret and remorse, then you must hop in and continue your relationship, but if they react otherwise, it's best to back off and save yourself the stress.

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