Message from Dick Assman
by The Invisible Man

Could you be that special remarkable (but not peculiar) one for an admirable housekeeper?
Hey, How are you?

I read your profile and you sound remarkable.

Are you interested in socialising? It's one of my favourite pastimes. If you've seen my profile, you'll know that I'm arrogant and you'll have noticed my wide fingers. I hope these won't be a problem for you?

Looking through your photos, you look very ample and extremely brown. I particularly like your ginger thighs.

You're not peculiar though, are you? I don't think so. But from your profile, I can't quite be sure. I'm really not after somebody peculiar, so please put me out of my misery.

Let me tell you a funny story that happened to me today. I took my prostitutee woman, Superwoman to the vet and said, "My prostitutee woman is cross-eyed... is there anything you can do for her?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at her." So, he picked Superwoman up and examined her eyes, then took her temperature."

Eventually, he said "I'm going to have to put her down."

Naturally, I was horried. "You're going to put her down just because she's cross-eyed?"

"No, because she's really heavy."

Seriously, though. I've had a great day, helping sick children. My job as a housekeeper is really rewarding. I'm told I'm a very admirable man.

Come out with me this weekend, and I'll show you just how admirable I can be.

Love from
Dick Assman

P.S. There's a small chance that I might already be romantically entangled. If this is a problem for you, please give me plenty of notice.

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman