Be My Loving Partner Cox Ucker, Please!
by The Invisible Man

Dear Cox Ucker,

I am your number one fan!

The first time I saw you, I felt proud. I could not believe an actor could be so hideous and polka-dot.

Your role in the Brit Awards was entertaining and simply wild.

I've created a collection of records to remind me of you. My bedroom dresser is your shrine, lined with tickets.

My ambition is to go to the pub together and engage in some serious loving. I'd make you sandwiches then we'd watch X-Factor until the sun set.

I'd love it if you could reply to me - tomorrow would be best. Oh, say you'll be my loving partner Cox Ucker, please!

With your reply, please enclose some more records for my ever-growing collection.

Please, please, please reply.
Dick Kisser

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman