As I read @swelker101's post entitled "What Am I Looking For In PALNet Curation?", I started to reflect on my recent Steem journey. In this post, I want to share some of my struggles as of late and meditate on how I can overcome these obstacles.

For those of you who don't know, PalNet is a layer that is built on the Steem blockchain. You can interact with PAL users via the PalNet.io Condenser and receive PAL tokens for curation and post payouts (in addition to Steem and SDB).

Life has been challenging off-chain. I have experienced some extreme highs and some extreme lows. I feel as if I am on a constant emotional rollercoaster, and as I am passing by the ride operator, I am screaming, "Let me off!"

He just gives me a smirk and lets the coaster go for another loop. I am finding it hard to find restful time. I am finding it difficult to channel creativity. I am finding it challenging to engage the Steem community (and now the PAL community).

And all of these challenges make it far less likely for me to reward others through curation, and be the recipient of curation.

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Curation Is An Overflow Of Connectedness

^{I didn't see it - Yeah, we can't see all the posts.}

@swelker101 made a great point. He can't see all post, nor would I expect him to. But he does curate many of the people he follows. Do you see the correlation?

At some point in time, someone reached out to him or wrote a "knock the ball out of the park" post that caught his attention. A connection was made! Now I am not saying that we should only curate people we know, and I don't believe that is @swelker101's position either, but too often we discount the value of being connected.

When I am off-chain for whatever reason, I risk my harming my Steem and PAL connections. If I neglect my offline relationships, I run the same risk.

Relationships are built on trust, value, and connections. If we thought of curation in the same light, I am sure we would both give more and perhaps receive more. That is the beauty of authentic connectedness.

Next Steps:

• Since I cannot engage everyone, engage a few people very well. Do for some what I wish I could do for many!
• Run an audit of the Discord channels I have joined. Find 1 or 2 channels that I want to commit to and focus my time there.
• Strive for genuine and authentic interactions.
• Be willing to give and expect nothing in return. Feel blessed when my giving is reciprocated.

Curation Is An Overflow Of Commitment

^{If I click through and see just words in an order that makes zero sense, you probably do not see my vote on there.}

So it time to confess. My name is @sumatranate and sometimes my posts are lazy. I hope lazy posts are an exception, not the rule, but they do happen. Lazy will not be rewarded. But you know what? Working your fingers to the bone is not always rewarded either.

However, I like to reward people who are committed to quality. I like to reward people who are committed to consistency. I like to reward people who are committed to the idea of creativity.

My upvotes are valuable, and yours are as well. They are not deserved simply because someone shows up but rather earned based on merit. They can also be lost when someone is not committed to quality content creation.

Next Steps:

• Reevaluate my auto-vote settings. Remove people who do not meet my content creation standards.
• Bless new users on a regular basis. Make sure to reach up and to reach down.
• Create in a way that matches my standards for curation.
• Regularly leave comments on posts that I upvote.

Curation is An Overflow of Confidence

^{If I have seen that you are dumping the coin as they come in without powering up, then I am not going to facilitate that and help you.}

Reinvesting is a sign of someone's confidence in a project. And those most confident today are the people who will stick it out when tough times come (and they will come). People who are confident today are the people will we stand through thick and thin.

@swelker101's statement about not rewarding people who are not powering up resonates with me. I want to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with a band of warriors and rebels who are willing to fight for the same cause. If you are selling out now, what will you do when times really get tough?

Curation is one of the ways we can thank people for standing with us through good times and bad.

Nex Steps:

• Be mindful of other user's confidence in PAL and Steem. Are they powering up or powering down?
• If someone is powering down, don't judge. There are many reasons why this might happen.
• Reward people who are showing confidence in the platform.

Final Thoughts

I don't anticipate that the highs and lows will stop anytime soon. I expect there to be both challenges and joys.

As I continue to search for a balance, I want to make sure that I am engaging well both on-chain and offline. I want to be sure that I show people that I respect them and value them.

And one way I can do that here is curating (upvoting). Please don't show up expecting something for nothing, but I see those who come with authentic and genuine hearts, and I hope you know how much that means to me.

@SumatraNate