First Impressions. - Part 23.

They'd been at it like minks, although she wasn't 100% sure that was a thing. It was going in her blog at some point. Then it might become a trenchant euphemism. She'd been on a four day long sex induced high. It couldn't last of course. This thing with John was complicated by other factors besides her neuroses. Taz and Bella were a part of him. They'd also become a part of her. Which placed all of them in danger. From herself of all people. She'd almost killed Bella twice, on successive days. Two tear filled confessions later Steph was convinced he'd have to dump her to protect his entire family. Steph had stupidly assumed she'd learn to cope with a child. She was a woman after all. Motherhood was ingrained in her DNA. Or it should have been. Not hers apparently. She was a freak of nature. No child was safe in her presence. All of the trust John had placed in her, with that precious curly headed moppet, was undeserved. Steph considered herself the equivalent of King Herod as far as child care was concerned. Given her performance so far John would lose all patience.

The first child endangerment incident had been in front of numerous witnesses. All of them parents to. She'd been playing with Bella in the communal garden. Chasing after her. They'd both been laughing. Not looking around. Identifying all the hazards and pitfalls, the last thing on their minds. The giggling tot had shot off towards the swings, giddy with excitement. It was pure chance Steph managed to impose her body between the swing and the little girl. She'd earned a substantial bruise on her hip, that left her with a limp. Imagine if that had been Bella's head? Worse still her face. It made Steph shudder thinking about it. She was still shaking when they got back. Ashamed of herself to the extent Bella noticed. She was worried on behalf of the instigator of her near death. Which was even more shameful. As soon as they got in Bella had run to her daddy's arms. Hugging him as she looked at Steph, with big sad eyes.

The guilt led to the first tear fuelled confession. It hadn't been good for her soul either. Both John and Taz assured Steph it was fine. Nothing bad had happened. It could have though. He'd even kissed the bruise better that night. Worse was to come though. Less than 24 hours later Stephanie managed to almost kill Bella again. Trying to make up for the trauma she'd caused the beautiful angel Steph had offered to read, Where the Wild Things Are. As they'd hurried upstairs Bella slipped. Would have tumbled down at least half a dozen steps if not for Steph throwing herself around the child. Carpet burns were the least of her worries as she wailed at her own incompetence. Bella had been terrified as well. The two of them squawling. This time Taz and John saw her thoughtless carelessness. Her tenure as John's girlfriend had to come to an end now. Before she caused permanent harm to someone she should be protecting.

---

It was right here she thought as she came down from her now empty flat. Suitcase in hand she descended. No looking back. That chapter was over. No rewrites possible. No possibility to edit this narrative, because it was real life. She was so self absorbed she hadn't noticed John and Taz standing there. Steph cracked a smile for them. Tried to fake as much sincerity as possible. Starting a new era was scary. A bit exciting as well. Mainly scary. Most definitely. Here she was, there they were. John had his arm around his adopted daughter, Bella was inside the apartment. It was her birthday after all.

"What's in the case?" He asked. "I thought you'd already moved all your stuff."
Steph shook it, there was a slight rattle.
"Dildo's and vibrators. Anal beads and butt plugs. What do you think?"
"I think you've been spending far too much time with Karen. I think she's warped your brain with her filthy mind. I know I'm more than glad Bella's still opening her presents. Excellent work on undermining my manhood and sexual confidence though. No one's ever insulted me via the medium of sex toys before."
She jiggled the suitcase again.
"It wasn't intended as an insult. I'm encouraging you to up your game. Maybe you'll try harder next time. I'm a woman. I have needs. I need rechargeable batteries right now. I'm burning through the disposable ones like nobody's business."
He gave Taz a questioning look.
"Yep. She's definitely insulting your manhood. Daddy what's a dildo?"
He frowned.
"Don't play dumb with me young lady. I know very well you've bypassed the parental internet filter. Anymore of your nonsense and I'll install one on your phone."
Taz pouted, eased his herself from under his arm.
"I think that's my cue to fetch the birthday girl, so she can receive her best present."
Steph fidgeted nervously. Dancing on the balls of her feet, as Taz departed.
"Oh God I hope she likes it. Can I have a hug please?" As she lifted her arms.
"As long as you get rid of the suitcase. I'm not sure I can cope with that much competition." He responded opening his arms.
"It's my hair dryer's and tongs."
He hugged her warmly. Rocking slowly as she pressed herself against him for support.
"You've got more than one hair dryer?"
"I've got more than one hair." The two of them stepped through into the small entrance hall. "What if she doesn't like me John?"
"Are you kidding? You're her hero. You've saved her twice."
"I made her cry though. She was heartbroken."
"She only cried because you were hurt and crying. Bella was fine thanks to you. As far as she's concerned you can do no wrong."
"Yes. But if it wasn't for me..."
"She could have been badly hurt." Taz returned with Bella. John and Seph crouched down to her eye level. "Bella, Steph is going to be moving in again."
Her face looked serious as she contemplated this.
"How long for?" The little girl asked.
"Forever we hope." Steph glanced at John for moral support.
"Will you still read stories to me and Bear and Gemma?"
"Of course I will. Only now you won't have to climb all those stairs."
"Will you be sleeping in the office again daddy?"
"Not this time sweetheart. We'll be in the main bedroom together."
Bella's face clouded with suspicion.
"Will I be allowed to bother Steph?"
"Any time you want my little angel."
Bella nodded solemnly, taking Steph's hand. As the adult rose to her feet she looked at John for help again. The child drew her into the main family area. Several adults and 8 children looked up.
"Everybody. This is my mummy." She announced loudly. "She's a writer. She does stories. That's what I'm going to do when I grow up."
And that's when she burst into tears. Bella looked horrified. Steph picked her up for a cuddle.
"It's okay my little cherub. These are happy tears." Steph explained, smiling.
Taz came up, wrapping her arms around both of them.
"I'm happy to mum. Don't get used to that, I will still be calling you Steph most of the time. Won't I dad."

The rest of it was a blur. An exhausting, mind taxing, patience stretching blur. There was cake as well. Stephanie liked cake. Small children's birthday parties, not so much. At this age their emotions could switch in an instant. From enjoyment to misery and then hyperactivity in the space of five minutes. When did she lose the ability to throw up then eat more cake? Marcie and Laura hung around after the celebration, helping to clear up the carnage. Laura being the only one who didn't appear to have gone through hell. It was the relief it was over more than anything else. The overwhelming sense you'd survived a three hour long accident happening in slow motion. Even John looked shell shocked. He reclined in his chair staring glassily at the ceiling. Only perking up when Steph joined him.

"I'm glad most of this has been filmed. That way I'll know what I think of what's happened today." A very sticky Bella joined them.
John groaned theatrically at the extra weight.
"Oh God I could sleep for a week. That was intense." He moaned. "I don't remember it being like this last year. I must have blocked it out. Otherwise I'd never have done it again."
"You can rest up for a whole year now." Steph stated, rubbing her nose against his before repeating the action with a giggling Bella. "Tell you what. You can have a day of rest tomorrow, I'll take care of everything. Taz will show me the ropes."
John stiffened almost imperceptibly.
"I forgot to tell you. We're going out as a family tomorrow."
The adults were exchanging meaningful glances. All bar Steph that was. They were keeping secrets from her. Now in the ordinary state, the one she'd occupied for the last year or so, she'd have been deeply suspicious. As a new mother with a moderately sized modern family, she made a conscious effort to let it go. It had been hard for her to do that previously. It wasn't easy now.
"I'm going to let that go for now." She announced.
He looked relieved. Gave her a tight little smile. He was a man after all. He couldn't admit he was far more nervous than she'd been today. There was very little on his body that wasn't being crossed at this point.
"I think it's almost time for someone to go to bed now. Don't you?"
She was halfway into a sultry look before she realized he was referring to Bella.
"Come on squirt." Taz beckoned her sister. "Let's get you a bath and into your jammies."
"Is mummy going to read me a bedtime story?" The tot pleaded.
"I think that can be arranged. Should we let daddy come along to? He might feel left out and get sad."
Bella patted her father's chest.
"You can come to daddy."