Sex Isn't Love!! Love Isn't Sex!!!

Sex and Love are being used interchangeably in today's relationships. A lot have confused the real meaning of Love to sex. So many people today find it very difficult accepting the real definition of the word Love to not mean sex.

image credit: Pixabay

Sometime ago in jabi, at a very young hour of the evening, already getting dark, a grown ass middle aged boy was telling a teenaged girl that if she wants to prove that she loves him that she is supposed to prove it by having sex with him.

Hearing that, I was shocked. I had to break my rules of minding my own business and I went after the girl the next day, I saw her. Kicked off a conversation between us. It wasn't really difficult for me, we've known ourselves before then. I told her I saw her with a guy the other day. She gave me that innocent-shy-smile that made her look guilty already.

My curiosity made me ask her what exactly the guy wants, she told me "he wants to have sex with me to prove my love for him"

But I innocently told her that the guy doesn't really love her. Yes, she is inexperienced, naive and can be taken advantage of. I didn't want her to go that way when she isn't ready for it.

I gave her few tips and led her into what it is by being in a relationship.

She thanked me and we parted ways.

image credit: Pixabay

Growing up, I read books much advanced. I read and watched mostly 'relationship movies and books that talks deeper into relationships, love and sex'.

Let's say I got myself ready when I wasn't physically ready. 

I go for exact thing or person I want. I don't taste all the wines just to get the perfect taste cos I will definitely end up drunk and a serious alcoholic. And need for rehab will arise.

I really cry for some of these vulnerable young women residing in Abuja, Owerri, and other cities in Nigeria and some other places who in one way or the other have been enslaved and turned into sex slaves in the name of being in a relationship with the presumed perfect guy.

Love is not sex!

And

Sex isn't love!

If you want love, you go for it. If sex is what you are in need of, make it clear and stop leading the innocent ones into what they can't come out of.

At the end of the day, all the goose will come out to play and we have ourselves to blame.

I sometimes I wonder what is the fate of our unborn children and the next generation.

image credit: Pixabay

I met a young lady sometime ago as she narrates her ordeal to me 

She said: "I still remember what they told me when I was still very young"  

"They said I should prepare myself for my" (Future Prince). 

They told me this prince will come in shinning armor, he would slay my fears and take me under his wing of protection. He would make me his queen, and fight my battles for me. They said when he comes, I won't need any sorcerer to tell me, cause I'd feel tiny beautiful butterflies flying in my stomach. I'd find out that tears will be my enemy, all I'll know will be smiles and laughter.

They told me, I will glow with beauty and pride till forever comes. They said, he will put beautiful princes and princesses into my belly, and we will live happily ever after. They said, the only thing I've to do for him is to be submissive, take care of him and make sure our beautiful princes and princesses are properly groomed.

So from a very early stage, they taught me how to cook, how to smile, how to clean the house, how to be submissive, how to talk like a proper lady, how to walk like a proper lady, how to sit like a proper lady, how to sing like a proper lady, and many other things. I did learn all these, and I flawed in none.

The prince came as they promised, maybe in a shinning armour, or maybe he hired the armour. We sailed in this magnificent boat to his abode. Everything was almost as they said it would be initially. Then, somewhere along the lane, everything changed.

The prince that is supposed to slay my fears, instigated and groomed my fears. He said, I am his prize possession, so he hit me in places I never imagined. He gave me blisters on my lips, black eyes and broken jaw. I cried day in day out. He said I am his property, and properties do not speak, so he gaged me with money and fear. So, I wore smiles to mask my tears, I used "face foundation" to cover the blisters and black eyes. I smiled and told everyone "I'm fine", but my soul yearns for liberation. I've been reduced to a bundle of poop of myself. 

image credit: Pixabay

I am beaten, but I still believe in blissful union. Though mine is false, but I'm hopeful for the younger generations, only if women are seen more than just a mere "Prize possession'. Only if every woman's life has more value no matter where she's married into. Only and only if the male folks recognise women as their "Mates" and not slaves. 

Women aren't possetoon

Women aren't sex objects

Ladies should always know sex isn't love and love isn't sex.