New Research Suggests "Health" Foods Lead To Cancer - COM 19
We're sorry to interrupt this program but...
Breaking News!
Last night, at 3:69 pm, scientists from the Walker Technology College [R&D squad] discovered a dangerous chemical found in every single health food. Dihydrogen Monoxide! Some of the potential side effects of Dihydrogen Monoxide are:
- Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
- Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
- Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
- DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
- Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
- Contributes to soil erosion.
- Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
- Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
- Exposure decreases the effectiveness of automobile brakes.
- Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
- Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
Src
This shocking new discovery has led these scientists to design a brand new dietary pyramid! Since Dihydrogen Monoxide was found in health food and super food, the young professors reached a conclusion by covertly observing @sisygoboom and his eating habits over the course of a few weeks. This is what they came up with:
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This is my 1st entry to #comedyopenmic, for this round I nominate @drakos and @fulltimegeek
Science said it and I believe it.
Never doubt science. Ever.
How do you get your daily recommended input of alcohol and marijuana? The biscuits and sweets?
Become disgustingly wealthy.
Food is to drugs as "health food" is to water.
Stay hydrated maaan.
If it is on the internet it has to be true.
If it is true, it has to be on the internet.
nice post
but i feel your food pyramid contain a lot of sugar and i hope u know excess sugar is not good
Good thing I didn't design it. It was engineered by leading scientists.
Upvote this: https://steemit.com/free/@bible.com/4qcr2i