No I am not going.

I am trying to imagine how one of these events goes, and every time I think about it I end up laughing out loud...

It was @iamstan that first mentioned to me that this event was in Krakow this year, and he asked if I was going to attend, the answer was a firm NO. Off the bat like I said I have never been to one of these events, so anything I now write is pure fiction, so here goes on my imagined steem F event................

Nigel had waited a whole year to attend his first sf.

He saved up all his pocket money to attend the Krakow event, happily he spent many hours (boring the pants off) telling his friends how great steemit was, and how he had a voice due to his large sp stack, he was lucky enough to be on steemit when mining was taking place, and was now making a killing delegating his sp to bots.

Nigel happily (got his mom to) packed his bags with his lucky underpants and socks locked safely inside, (his mom) he had the foresight lo load up a prepaid credit card to fund this foray into the unknown, and set off to the hotel that was pre-booked.

The big event!

Nigel walked into the room filled with lots of different people, some speaking in broken English, others in different languages, this was new territory for our Nigel, as he never took any time to learn or read a different language, he just assumed everyone here would be a native English speaker.

As NIgel made his way around the room to the bar, he stopped many times and introduced himself as his steemit name @blogsupitmofo. A few people politely nodded, though responded by stating their real name, this confused Nigel a lot, how was he supposed to check out their wallet and sp to see if they were worth speaking to? if they only used real names!

Nigel thought he had taken precautions by logging in to steemit on his phone and tablet before he arrived, he had planned on many toilet breaks to check sp levels of those he met, now he had to come up with a new plan, so he called his mom and asked her what to do. "just be yourself" yelled his mother down the phone, Nigel was now horrified at the thought of actually having to be real, what was he going to do when all these people find out he is not really a tea total vegan, and more a junk food eating quiet drunk!

Plan 2!

Nigel decided it was best if he just said his real name now, and avoided the people he told his steemit name, right sorted he thought, now time to get pissed. He hurried to the bar and ordered a large vodka, he was shocked how cheap it was here, hmmmm, may be worth another trip here to blog it and get some more steem power upgoats he mused.

5 vodkas later (large ones) our Nigel was feeling full of Dutch courage, and ordered a large beer to take walkies around the room, it mattered not he was starting to slur his words, Nigel was feeling immortal again!... Nigel came across a group of people tucked up in a corner, away from the loud music and introduced himself, this group though were wanting his steemit name, as they were discussing what Nigel considered to be "tinfoil hat talk" He had heard the twin towers mentioned when he arrived near them. Unprepared Nigel decided to say he needed a toilet break and he would be right back.

As he walked away Nigel thought "wait" one of them could be v4vapid, and he is worth a few hundred thousand sp, maybe I should go back, though now he had bumped into another group, a very jovial crew, and a thought sprang to mind maybe this could be bernie sanders and his crew, should I talk, what if they think I am not funny?....

Nigel's head was spinning, not knowing who to talk to, who was worth a good upgoat, so he retired to the bar, and drank himself stupid, this was not difficult, he had a head start on stupid before he downed a drink!

As Nigel drank himself silly, he found himself surrounded by a crowd of people all taking about code, the code they use on their bots, Nigel was horrified, they might find out that even though he keeps banging on about how bad bots are for steemit in his blogs, that he was the one that was delegating them sp, right he thought, I will use my alt account name with this lot, as I use all the bidbots on that to get to trending, bingo, our Nigel was in!

Verdict = After this story I best avoid Krakow me thinks.

Images CC0 pixabay.