I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10 ~ Part 11 ~ Part 12 ~ Part 13 ~ Part 14 ~ Part 15 ~ Part 16 ~ Part 17 ~ Part 18 ~ Part 19 ~ Part 20 ~ Part 21 ~ Part 22 ~ Part 23 ~ Part 24 ~ Part 25 ~ Part 26 ~ Part 27

Part 28👇🏽

Almost 2 months have passed since my last transmission in this story.

Not to say I haven't been doing valuable things in the physical realm, living the reality of this @gardenofeden vortex, but such is a pattern of mine - I get distracted, lose focus, waver in my commitment. And I paused in this telling because I didn't know how to proceed and didn't want to push it.

But I'm back now, and the timing feels right - when it flows, it flows.

This is my story; now I return to sharing. And since I get to proceed however I want, I'm jumping ahead to today - Stardate: July 7, 2019.

Now, more aware and responsible than I've ever been...yet same ol' dysfunctional relationship patterns rearing their destructive heads, forcing me to take heed:

Because I'm not in the same ol' dysfunctional relationship anymore.

^{My muse - a divine blessing - constantly inspiring me to be a better person 🙏🏼}

My patterns coming up again lately, urging me to change, evolve, upgrade.

Urging me to apply everything I've learned, urging me to be better than I've ever been, urging me to conquer, triumph, and rise above.

Urging me to break the chains, learn new programs, and share the hope and inspiration of success with others struggling with the same relationship problems.

Urging me to realize it's ME that's the problem - therefore it's ME that's the solution.

Unfortunately, I think my broken relationship/intimacy model is extremely common, and here I am trying once more to see my life through those broken filters.

Fortunately, not only have I been in master training with the most conscious being I've ever met for many years now thus have more tools than ever at my disposal, but @quinneaker continues to support me through thick and thin and to push me harder and deeper into taking responsibility for my experience.

Some days I feel unworthy, rejected, discarded, neglected - and I blame, blame, blame the most significant relationship in my life for my feelings.

"He doesn't love me..."
"He must want me to leave..."
"He doesn't appreciate me..."
"He did this so I felt that..."
"He MADE me blah blah blah..."

and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah!

And yes, he did that, then I felt this...but correlation is not causation. He doesn't MAKE me do or feel shit - I am a sovereign being and I exercise MY FREE WILL at all times.

He doesn't stop loving me - he's a MUCH greater Man than that! He promises to take care of me and provide for me, and if there's one person on Earth I can trust, experience shows it's him.

It's unfair for me to deny our history and his battle-tested, proven honor just because my feelings hurt.

Yes, my feelings genuinely hurt sometimes, and yes it genuinely feels real. But I'm learning to recognize that it's not because my life has suddenly morphed and changed from good to bad, or because my most beloved suddenly hates me or has wronged me; it's trauma and dysfunction and chemicals firing off when conscious and unconscious triggers are pushed.

I feel unworthy, rejected, discarded, neglected because that's the vibration I hold in my body-mind. Those are rotten core beliefs I integrated from this broken and traumatized world.

I feel YUCK because I have YUCK relationship programming playing out again and again, causing feedback reactions in my physical being and thought forms!

I learned a certain way for men and women to interact with one another. I have expectations and definitions and ideas and beliefs about how men and women are "supposed" to engage...and as I've already seen, it's stupid and broken and gross.

Those programs are not unconditional love.

They are fighting and doubt and guilt and shame and judgment and pain.

And I've already played out that drama way more often than I would like.

I don't like it, but I'm the only one who can change it.

I slip into my blame game and my projections and delusions...and the most significant Man in my life continues to show up for me in awareness and honor, in shining armor with his sharp sword of perception and truth. He continues showing me, in ways I can understand, how I'm sabotaging myself.

How instead, I could choose ease and happiness and love.

How I can trust someone worthy of trust.

How intimacy is real.

And he encourages my awareness, acceptance, and responsibility for my own life.

My shit colored glasses can't actually touch him - time to take them off for good.

I pray with all of my heart and all of my soul and all of my might to take them off for the greatest good of all...

Do you want to BE the change?

Join me in the next post to be part of this real love story!

Part 29








✨💛✨ Sara!




Do you want to know MORE about The Garden of Eden? Read @everlove's inspiring story of her own extraordinary experience in this vortex in her series Challenging Love to Be Unconditional:
Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10 ~ Part 11 ~ Part 12 ~ Part 13 ~ Part 14 ~ Part 15 ~ Part 16 ~ Part 17 ~ Part 18 ~ Part 19 ~ Part 20 ~ Part 21 ~ Part 22 ~ Part 23 ~ Part 24 ~ Part 25 ~ Part 26 ~ Part 27 ~ Part 28 ~ Part 29 ~ Part 30 ~ Part 31 ~ Part 32 ~ Part 33 ~ Part 34 ~ Part 35 ~ Part 36 ~ Part 37 ~ Part 38 ~ Part 39 ~ Part 40 ~ Part 41 ~ Part 42 ~ Part 43 ~ Part 44 ~ Part 45 ~ Part 46 ~ Part 47 ~ Part 48 ~ Part 49 ~ Part 50 ~ Part 51 ~ Part 52 ~ Part 53 ~ Part 54 ~ Part 55 ~ Part 56 ~ Part 57 ~ Part 58 ~ Part 59 ~ Part 60 ~ Part 61 ~ Part 62 ~ Part 63 ~ Part 64 ~ Part 65 ~ Part 66 ~ Part 67 ~ Part 68 ~ Part 69 ~ Part 70 ~ Part 71 ~ Part 72 ~ Part 73 ~ Part 74 ~ Part 75 ~ Part 76 ~ Part 77