Things To Avoid In Relationships

The rate at which relationships crash in this era has become increasingly worrisome. I was having a discussion with someone who just entered a relationship just barely 1 month before that day but as at the day she was talking with me, the relationship had already hit rock bottom. It dawned on me that there are things that one should avoid if they want to build their relationship to last and we shall be taking a look into them. One thing to know is that everything, including friendship and relationships, require work to be done by the parties involved, not just one person. Now let us look at the things to stay away from in a relationship.

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1. Do not compare

That someone else's relationship is going in a particular way does not mean your own will trail the same path too. As a matter of fact, you are only judging their relationship from what you can see physically - which can be deceptive. Instead of comparing your relationship with someone else's own or using their own as a a standard for your own and ultimately putting your partner into undue pressure, it is better to focus on your own and work it out yourself. You will agree with me that even the relationship you compare with is not perfect and they have their own downtimes which you may not even be aware of, so focus on your own.

You need to understand that both you and the person you are in the relationship have separate lifestyle from the other person that you want to compare with. For example; imagine using the relationship of two celebrities who you know nothing about except their social media lifestyle to judge your own partner who just got a job and trying to start a life. By the time you expect him to gift you a lambo for your birthday just like you saw on social media with your celebrity fav, you will be disappointed and you may end up putting him into unnecessary pressure and it may not end well. This is why you have to mind your own relationship and make it work instead of making it to resemble someone else's relationship.

2. Deficiency in communication

Lack of, or deficiency in communication is one of the killers of any relationship. Do not assume your partner already knows what is on your mind, they are not ghosts, neither are they telepathic. You need to communicate your mind to them before they can know what is on your mind. You will be surprised that silence could mean a million things and they may be thinking what is not in your mind. This is why communication is very crucial in a relationship. It is weird to see people in relationship giving their partners "silent treatment" when they offend them instead of talking it out, and that is how problem creeps into the relationship. Always bear in mind that any healthy relationship starts with active communication.

3. Do not think you are doing your partner a favour

There are many people that think that their partner is privileged to have them or that they do not deserve someone like them, or that they are doing them a favour. This type of mentality breeds pride and this also affects the relationship. Do not have the mindset that you are managing your partner or the person's status is not up to par with your own. After all, you were not forced to go into the relationship with them, so if you will not be comfortable with them, then why did you go into the relationship with them in the first place? It is saddening when you hear people make this statement; "how can a whole me do this..." but they tend to forget that the other person is also whole. No matter the kind of beauty you have, you still do not possess the entire beauty in the whole world and even if you do, it is still subject to the judgement of the beholder, so stay humble.

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4. Limit your expectations

Many people have very high expectations when going into relationships, so much that if they do not get their expectations, they may not only be disappointed but they will lose interest in the relationship. A friend once made a humorous statement that "some people enter relationship basically because of financial reasons." Well, relationship is not a poverty alleviation programme that one enters into to seek financial refuge. In a relationship, the beauty lies in the both parties bringing something to the table, not just one person doing the bringing and the other person doing the receiving. If your partner has not benefited anything from you, then the relationship is not mutual but parasitic. In conclusion, for relationship to work, the parties involved must make it work, and sacrifices must be made.

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