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_{the text in this section is posted un-edited for anything but layout since it was typed, it portrays the thoughts and the mood at the moment of writing, i will not censor myself for your convenience}

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its also a lot of text, thats why the info-section is at the bottom ... for the survivors

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_{@ubasti is 81.1 days old and has distributed 9.024SBD to participants
@sakhmet is 71.6 days old and has distributed 0.880SBD to participants
@maahes is 20.0 days old and has distributed 0.326SBD to participants
@rudyardcatling was old when the world was young and has given out x botvotes by x , y by y etc to followers and voters}

20180712

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10:37 ...

no water , gods dam, how long is this gonna last, especially today omg

11:11 ...

brown slush from every tap , how very inconvenient, on cleaning day of all days ... go ask the neighbours, its a leak ...

well, there might be many things here but at least they use facebook for the right reasons, their own little townpage :p

happy birthday to me, i tell her id prefer to stop the birthing 24 years ago and we both shrug on the inevitability

of entropy , guess i'll have to wait ... good thing for some reason my cat wouldnt leave the bed until 10 :)

12:07 ...

water's coming out again, but only on the first floor ... ?!? thats not how gravity works is it ? it is here then. Well yea i'm gonna spend my birthday cleaning and im out of money for the rest of the month. Maybe a train ticket to gent one day .. walk around a bit, and thats it. Still no Flixxo invitation ... no sound of little retard pack rats ... it's all VERY suspicious, i'll believe it when i havent seen any by 2020 and hopefully actually planning to get out of hellgium forever

and ever

and ever

i SO HATE THIS FUCKING PLACE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, you cant fix broken trust, knives in the back, slander ... thats gone forever, manipulation, stealing from me, breaking my shit, harassment , and all the time one thought :

chill out, they're gonna fuck it for you if you dont, cops , yokels, unemployed bar nazis ... hard workers ... little retard shits on barbiturates and vodka ... ALL ONE BIG PILE OF SHYTE FOR A DECADE

12:56 ...

o there it went again ... after a minute of typing ... water pressure in the bathroom is through the roof, but none in the kitchen. Can i make coffee with that ? Should i be drinking coffee on top of my hypernervosity, ive been hypernervous for how long now ? a month?

and no idea b/c with the lack of little shits it should be the exact opposite ... dont wanna imagine what it would be if it escalated further ... no, its not the dreughs ... really man, i couldnt handle speed anymore if i wanted to ... thats bullshit

i used to do this in a place where i deleted it every day

now i do this on a blockchain where i cant even if i want to

so i guess i want it to be shown just the way it is

so i'll never forget what it was like ? and i dont lie to myself later on "it wasnt that bad"

cos it is , and it is and it is

i'll never be normal again and then i think

but i never was, not even as a kindergarten kid

and then i havent felt worse than this and then i think

i did ... 2006 .... and then i think

but that had a reason

im quite sure i havent been on coke daily for 2 years today ... quite sure

so what is this ?

i dont know the feeling

but it wont go away , need coffee or i'll be in bed again by four ...

on top of hypernervous

.. .. ..

yea

on top of hypernervous, this place really did me over ... and still i dont fit in, its worse than it was and its not getting better, i will never be able to live here and still no invite from Flixxo ... guess only the champagne people with the dresscode first

13:35 ...

still no water to cook with, guess ill have to get bread then ... hard to boil rice in an empty bowl

16:26 ...

i realized an hour ago i had actually done nothing yet but go up and down the stairs ...

and now ... i take the dishes to the bathroom, and water downstairs to clean the toilet ... its hot outside, i feel like shit (mentallly) i feel like the same shit as i have for years physically ... and all i can think about :

the only thing that matters is i get out of here with my cat, before its too late

uh ? well there's water in the toilet but i dont really feel like cleaning or doing dishes with that, there's wather in the laundry machine but i cant use that outside of it, there's water in the bathroom sink but none in the kitchen, so on top of walking around headless i go up and down with a bucket ...

yea ... and make coffee from bottled water since i dont trust the tap after that brown slush this morning

like my name is ceaucescu or something

all fun and games, the usual

18:03 ...

woaw ... 5 cups of coffee, no pills taken and i still need rest ... doesnt work at all without heavy fuel, does it ? i still think its lack of motivation and total numbness by too many assholes who tried to motivate the good old way : opression, deprival, fear , ... fucking dopamine promises

the lot ...

so take a break ... at least i did SOMETHING, probably enough time for a pro cleaner to do the house up and down twice while i tinker on my shyte but well ... thats not an option , is it

did someone "just read that" ? b/c its like, i did actually really mean i dont believe anyone would do that because it would be utterly shyte and stupid, i dont hang with 14 year old jackasses im too old for that, i could fall , stumble in the middle of the road, get runover, picked by the po, have to explain myself : where have you been what have you done ... bring places under scrutiny, thats why i said no one would do that, its against everyone, even if anyone had one to slip, the only way i see that happen is if someone from the BLOrazepam-gang passed by while i was on the toilet

so let's leave that ... because it doesnt matter

the only thing that matters is getting out of here with my cat before it is too late

if thats not possible then nothing's worth the effort

yes well, i wonder sometimes ... if it were "a story" it would be okay ... if the news articles were combined into a 200 word post on why its gonna make you rich, then it would be okay ... but this ? no one ever reads it to the bottom ... barely EVER, im veryfairly sure of that, its A LOT, every time

but its NOT a story, it wont change until it changes i can only advise people who dont like to see it, to mute the account :) problem solved

23:24 ...

two downvote bots, i think i should do a parse to see if i missed any ... they could grow to be a problem over time and there's zero defense against void accounts who auto-downvote everything :) problemm inna di system, now

tried to wake me up AGAIN for the Truman-show, precious? you are giving me hours to start and stop ? it makes me feel like a social experiment for those old bats like yahoo or ibm, to prove their talentworkers should grow a switch to turn on at nine and turn off at five, when the masters decide when its time to be intelligent and creative

IT DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT, besides for some people an office is a hellish place, an open office even worse .. noise, phones, PEOPLE, ... humans ... PEOPLE ... humans ... PEOPLE breathing down your neck, telling you what to do, getting in the way ... PEOPLE, NOISE ...

it doesnt work like that, simply cos you say so, you should do government and write laws ... tell trains its forbidden to run over someone who jumps in front of them or something

so here i am, not enough sleep, same situation as yesterday ... fucked and stuck in hell

20180713

00:15 ...

another year of life lost in #fuckflanders , hellgium, officially now, a year i will never get back ... never forgive, never forget

what exactly can i do ? is that the houseghost again ?

well for you i can do nothing .. until i'm out of here and i can do it for me

i can do nothing for you

02:03 ...

i havent felt this shitty in months ... my head is a pincushion again, i have a millstone around my neck , i'm tired after four cups of coffee and my neck feels like its been tasered, my eyes are sandy, my throat hurts and if i complain i get blamed on last week-end which it is not since i used to feel like this a lot, it was gone for quite a while, it seems to be back ...

12:32 ...

sooooo tired

13:50 ...

still no water from the tap in the kitchen, its like one of those BTC-faucets from back in the pre-history ... and its so hot ... and i feel like a rag ... i just wanna lay down but i dont wanna

14:44 ...

i think ... unless someone has my money im off to bed ... my mother says winter induces that because not enough sunlight, i think i have the opposite ... all the allergies as a kid i used to have, never played outside in summer, the darkness is my friend, i hate the daylight about as much as this whole place ... if thats all im gonna doze off , wake me in september or when the steem price rises

20180714

00:20 ...

bed at five, meds ... yawning ... no sleep ... another pill ... no sleep ... another pill ... no sleep ... fall asleep at 23:30 ... repeating crud cycles have started .... so i guess i'll be doing nothing tonight and tomorrow. If i had to get up for anything but me or my cat like this ? id be at the doctors right now, getting a note

01:37

i think i'm crumbling from the inside ... this place is NONSTOP tearing me apart, trying to force me into yahoo hours like the yokel-hell it is

2:41 ...

even my diary is lacking hellfire and vitriol ... i guess ill be back in bed to see the dawn of another day waiting for the night

13:01 ...

the heat is unbearable,

the silence feels like one of those moments in a spaghetti western where you get close-ups of the steel-blue eyes before the shooting start

i feel supercosy again YO-lo

20180716

04:31 ...

deardiary, in case we need one ? well the folks are back in belgium, suddenly my keyboard feels like its awfully noisy. Ive been suffering from severe nervosity for over a month now, the heat is unbearable by day, the nights are WAY too short, but i almost did all my late replies tonight and ... i expect more of a welcoming comittee from the BLOrazepam gang but there was only two little retards doing a little "givemesomeattention" monkey dance .. maybe it could be a quiet , forward summer after all , no actually the emphasis would be AFTER all ... its already too late to be a quiet, forward summer, retards fucked it up

22:11 ...

wouldnt let me sleep again ... snood plan van drukkerland abound ? one little shit detected, one or ten stays the same now, i cant trust any of them ever again ... im tired but my night starts in two hours, thats what i HAVE to maintain or nothing gets done. I'll keep expecting to see BLOrazepam gang every time i open the door and go outside for years now, thats just how it grew. If the little shits don't quit it is very likely some retard big shit is poking them, someone stuck in some television movie like the mack perhaps ? Come down the old man is listening to r&b and fucking Coolio ... now i KNOW something is off ...
every time i say i'm not jesus the forgiver, that i can't let go once i get pushed past a certain point i never forgive , people dont take me seriously .. "it will get better with time"

SURE, LIKE MY LIFE SINCE I GOT STUCK HERE, SO MUCH BETTER WITH TIME

the answer is not get over it, also not masjen or get a job, the answer is i told you not to do that or it's just another thing on top that never goes away until i can get out of here

23:18 ...

yesterday : bearable, today : no sleep more pain sore eyes, suspicion, the usual, the standard for a "normal" day since here ... i also feel as if Q-music is trying to describe me ... an insult to complexity ... said i wasnt normal, i am not, never have been. you just wear me out hoping i'll fall in line like a zombie ... what point is there if i'm a zombie

and it will never happen, i dont break , i twist and I TOLD YOU

NOT TO DO IT , yes well no sleep feel pushed, here we go again i thought youd know the routine by now

20180717

00:25 ...

nope, same old shit, same old feelings ... threats ? blackmail is pointless, like asking americans to cave in to terrerizts ... i hate this fucking place, you owe me almost 15 years of life, i havent had a day of that since here

here we go again

setting up the posts for vault/distro

typing up the rest of the post for @rudyardcatling, very constructive alas i dont have the power to put myself in the top 30 charts so i bet it will be $5 max, not $500, not $5000 but well ... what is to be expected if you dont suck whale dick, right ?

11:35 ...

fucking A , make that fucking-A+ , 10 minutes on my cryptonnaire hedgefund and i succeed in cutting the cable (in this case not the dollar) ... all electricity out. The old mans laptop seems to have battery problems, after two minutes it starts warning its low after sitting in the socket all night. That probably means battery trouble. Not sure, i'm not laptop man, not enough screws and bolts ... its HOT, as i spent about 5-6 hours on yesterdays post im going to keep it short today :)

So far the only thing i'm reinforced in is, that wether i post a picture of my week-end dishes or the fluffiest one of my cat, the results are the same. I spend 5 hours or 5 minutes on one post, it doesnt make much difference. The only things i get reinforced in is that its an elitist racket where a few rich keep each other in the money, not very motivating to create content according to the mission statement. Which convinces me again i have to focus on upping my voting power instead of wasting time on posting :)

i think thats enough for today, IM MELTING

yayah, im broke until half august so even if i only want to go check on @thetroublenotes i'll have to lend money from the old lady (thats mother where i live) , which means LEND, not GET for me, and thats 20 or 30 euros, not a few K (or a "small loan to get me started like i heard Trump say in the election speeches EL-mao)

ofcourse not i'll keep going, this is the only thing that gets me something and might work for me, if i have to shoplift catfood to get where i need to be then i guess i'll have to risk that :)

gud ... im gonna let that ride for four or five days and see what my hours of effort gets me :-) ... i seriously more hope one of the gods of the pantheon there NOTICES THAT WE MIGHT HAVE A BOTNET BREWING, i dont care if you take the credit, just FIX IT ALREADY

12: 16 ...

well, yes i do know how that sounds alas i'm not that cliché , its not bitter

if i were bitter id be a quitter and i clearly dont 3 of 4 acounts give stuff away, the main gives shares in sbi ... at whalemoney that would be 100 grand per million i make ... which has always been the intention

it's hate : i dont discriminate, i hate , and when i do its personal, hide behind your -isms all you want, if i got an issue with you its not cos of your skin-tone or the fact that you dont openly oppose headloppers, its not cos of your money, its cos of WHO YOU ARE

right ? gud then ... i know its summer, but flat broke gets no one anywhere, and your "job" is a waste of my life, of which you already owe me 15 years so until you pay that back, precious, expect nothing from me but to go at stuff that gets me something

a-ight ? don't you have a bitch to slap or a lambo to buy ? or a brick to cook or something? a stereotype is you

a stereotype is YOU

i didnt even use one word from the pc-principal blacklist and i can your -ism alert going already

a stereotype is YOU, you keep it alive

now, where was i ? o yea trimming the hedge

i doubt i'll be going anywhere but online all summer, last year venice and paris, this year monjardin

and FUCK YOUR SNICKERS MONEY, thats NOT gonna happen anymore, no matter what (and if you dont see your schools are clearly a waste of my time maybe you should go back to them, you pencilpushing nazi)

yea, everyone's the enemy ... OR ARE THEY ? have you actually spoken to people i speak to ?

well if its not gonna happen anymore its about 30 times too late beyond the point of no return

i told you not to do that ? who you talkin to man

myself obviously, i lost my mind, clearly since a few months now

16:32 ...

why do i get this feeling then ... "no , i DON'T have any experience to be useful to you, i need to be ME, it wont work out FOR you" , im sloppy i don't work under guidelines, i'm always late and im certainly not a teamplayer

why don't you give up on that

why do i get this feeling someone's pushing again?

IT IS

NO

USE

I WILL NOT DO IT EVEN IF I COULD

and i CANT, why is it so hard to believe I CAN NOT DO THAT ANY MORE ?

force me , face the consequences ... its not gonna happen unless i can be my own man

and if that doesnt happen

then nothing will happen and my life will have been a total waste

but what DEFINITELY WONT HAPPEN is spending it "in service" of a species that fucked me

.... its dear diary, precious, what did you expect ? the weather report

"its sunny outside"

I HATE THE SUN, IT BURNS

22:34 ...

old folks back in the house ... its like i havent stopped eating since ... the hobbit mentality of keeping full fridges and cupboards is hard to resist if everything everywhere is full to the brim and you just have to pick something.
Thats a challenge ... out eating with friends ... that fucking mutt hasnt stopped barking all evening i havent slept one minute. Cant leave him alone for 2 seconds or he's at it ... i dont understand why people keep dogs, they're loud, invasive, they smell, they bark, they drool, they're fucking slimey I DONT GET IT ... no grace at all, but well, its their prerogative, at least im SURE of something, tonight will be as void as tomorrow without my sleep

... yea same shit ? no not really ... different shit, but this is still van drukkerland, everything annoys me, even without a constantly barking mutt ... see it stops the moment i open my eyes, its like he's a telepath, pretty fucking annoying yea. Reminds me why i myself would NEVER keep a fucking dog

ever, o hi, good morning ... well it should be to me but its still evening cos i havent slept BLABLABLA

yadda yadda, fuck that

fuck this

yea sure, ofcourse, if it werent for them its very likely id be in jail again since it was that or street ... but if it werent for whoever manipulated me back here, its highly likely

i wouldnt be living in belgium anymore so

don't go there, you wont get your right from me

ya bla .. well same thing, sore muscles , dry eyes, face feels like its been sprayed with acid, foul mood, every noise sounds like little shits ... under stress ye olde paranoia can come back, the more severe the more chance

thats why i need the sleep, thats why i need the night, my alone time with no one but who i chose to be with, which is usually no one for the last ten years now

)

you can't fix that anymore after 15 years of mental abuse by hell

doesnt matter what you think it is to you cos you havent been there you spoiled fucking twat

matters what it is to me ... how i experience it, how it happend doesnt matter anymore because it happened and it went too long, and i told you

this place wouldnt help

thats what matters

the answer is not "get over it" , the answer is not "masjen als een echte moun" and the answer is not "get a job bij lorraine met de nacht"

ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT

I TOLD YOU

no one listened

now here i am

well, cant always have a five hour post every day i guess, besides, wether i do this or that makes very little difference

at least readers digest looks digestible now with the newlines replaced by break tags, sed ftw ...

and also : i'm allergic to pollen and i have hayfever ... it was gone for a few years but its back

yet my supercryptonnaire hedge
fund
doesnt seem to care and it keeps growing (well its not mine, just like the house)

does that look "okay" to you ? well nothing but the computer, the shoes and the cat are mine and frankly i consider me the cat's , its not property

yah and bla and same shit i suppose ?

same answer , why would i hide anything some retard would think of using against me later (logical)AND double ampersand i had way too many hippiecrites think im c00 only to not when finding out later so thats the same answer as always, as to the question of why the nerdy shy a-grade kid who never even got a fucking warning from a cop suddenly at 30+ goes totally heavy i find most of the answers originating from the same class as "get over it" with heritage and all included, so ,

(and no, ofcourse i would not hit a fucking dog just for barking, idiot, that would have to be self defense or attacking my cat, which hopefully i wont have to experience :)

scared ? cos im like a total pussy compared to most people i know, and those two years of my life i got forced into seem to define me forever ... got labels ? i collect them
i know how life works from the plush side ... spend a whole night figuring out a system that might help, investigating what looks like a potential budding botnet that might damage or deal blackmail attacks ... thats okay .. forgotten by morning

talk about shit thats REAL ? that's who i am, right ?
yea i know you

most of you : its called "normal"

some of you ? some of you think you're normal but you're not hahah

i saw someone today with TWO POINT FIVE MILLION steem power in one account ... behind one password

now THAT is bonkers ... no jealousy , i was just looking for the next sbi share to give and i thought (and told them) they didnt really need it

lolbutton, i could use one of those but how fake would that be huh ?

thats one of the nice bits of planet Crypton ... if you had to take your hat off and bow for every millionaire you meet you'd have a very strong arm and a sore neck in no time ... people dont show it blatantly most of the time, social barriers have shifted when it comes to that ...
its not about how much you have

its about what you do with it, right ? xept some oldskooler stuck on planet lambo

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@steembasicincome #steembasicincome #borderlessnation !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTHING is sacred, YOU have the right to question

everything

people who are receiving daily votes thanks to yours truly @rudyardcatling because i got a share in @steembasicincome for me ... isnt that the nicest thing ? a pledge i made long ago when things looked a bit brighter right in front of me, 10% of every year, slightly distorted and applied (for now, with no obligations ofcourse)
shares will be given from different accounts now as i try to balance it between my vault-alts ... who double as distros or they would just be sitting there ofcourse, but always taken from @rudyardcating voters or followers, the effect should be the same for the other party

i have to thank @dannyshine for enrolling me (without telling me, i wouldnt have noticed if i didnt check my logs) so i dont tell the others and they wont know unless they read here or check their logs , just remember long after you use it before they implement it (last thing i saw @dannyshine threw in the towel though ... coppers got to him los pépés way or else , i dont know, but i doubt crowdsourcing the fine while caving in will be an option, mate, sorry to hear that)

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@dannyshine, @fishmon , @futuremind , @free999enigma (x2), @mikebluehair42 , @lastditch , @darsico(x2) , @moeenali , @bobdos , @hfnetworks , @yehey , @travelkorea , @zoeyvalliant , @hispeedimagins , @xplore , @pinoy , @recordrealm , @lovelyboo , @tushar83904 , @naf , @pssf84 , @truthbeyondlies , @lemouth , @papa-pepper , @nanocheeze, @sammycakes, @qam2112 , @thedailysneak , @andre-verbrick , @dunstuff , @creepycrazylife , @crypto.piotr , @minpine , @cryptoasis , @senseicat , @andresgo2000 , @simgirl , @karenmckersie

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find #steembasicincome at @steembasicincome, they will reply on the feed but better on the discord

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not sure if all those are still correct, i'll check it some time, but im sure you can find their feed if need be ... the rules ? blablabla, first of all i give away what i give away so i dont think there's anything to debate but first goes random from the top voters at the moment of 10X, if all top voters have had one within one month then it goes random from then 1000+ followers, MIND YOU : ONLY NON STALE ACCOUNTS, NON BOT ACCOUNTS AND NO ACCOUNTS THAT ONLY RE-STEEM or it would be a waste, so yea, there's two people who have two, they happen to be top-voters on my account, why would that be unfair ? and even if it is ... you're free to refuse a share if you get one, i dont get paid to diplomat

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i have a small idea on how to give to people who already received a share if they come up but i have to test that first

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@runaway-slave

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(image from https://www.innovationtoronto.com/ )

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i will ofcourse check the account before i send, if it's a 'stale' account then putting sbi bots on it to vote is 100% pointless

i think we can all agree on that ?

there we are, see you at 340

i should revise this bit (winneris.inc) because its not the same as it was from the start but its still 10%

owh .. by the way ->

i do not ask for anything in return nor will i refuse anything that doesn't come with strings attached, if anyone for any reason doesn't want their share , they can always give it back, it's all in the faq, since this is the internet i assume you know what that is, and where to find it

it's easy to be magnanimous and enlightened when you're pockets are ALREADY FAT

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last but not least :

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07/17/2018 11:36:00 pm

too worn out to comment atm

https://blog.sfox.com/how-to-secure-yourself-against-bitcoin-theft-in-10-minutes-28ce1d7559d

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07/17/2018 11:35:14 pm

too worn out to comment atm

https://www.forbes.com/sites/billybambrough/2018/07/17/big-for-bitcoin-goldman-sachs-new-ceo-is-keen-on-crypto/

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07/17/2018 11:34:37 pm

too worn out to comment atm

https://www.scmp.com/tech/social-gadgets/article/2154876/htc-develops-blockchain-phone-how-does-it-work

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07/17/2018 11:34:10 pm

too worn out to comment atm

https://www.information-age.com/blockchain-technology-business-sense-123473129/

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07/17/2018 01:48:30 pm

i just said on minds : this is natural selection and it is, ... natural selection is statistics and statistic say these parents and their subsequent kids have less chance of surviving ...

no change from putting your head where its about to be crushed

natural selection ... (too harsh again ? not enough hippie-words?)

https://www.futurity.org/parents-driving-kids-phones-1811502-2

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07/16/2018 02:19:54 pm

well i think it beats saving humans from the planet for a change

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/flower-sanctuary-alberta-canada

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07/16/2018 02:03:31 pm

one for the feminists !!!! now you can stop claiming bastet as the goddess of lesbians :)

https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/chausath-yogini-temple-of-mitaoli

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07/16/2018 01:52:09 pm

oh my o dear ... if you cant get to disneyland ... then bring it home ? A MA zINGGgg


https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/whale-house

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07/13/2018 01:43:23 am

i think the correct answer in public would be : "i would never DO THAT, its WRONG, its against the LAW, tim da troll is GOD and ALWAYS right"

however ... in the real world ... i dont think i have ever seen what usenet looks like and ive been online for 25 years now

https://torrentfreak.com/usenet-users-have-privacy-rights-but-pirates-cant-be-anonymous-180712/

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me : https://steemit.com/introduction/@rudyardcatling/signature-post-20180501

if there is any questions regarding the accounts : @rudyardcatling , @ubasti , @sakhmet , @maahes , feel free to joi https://discord.gg/TB4XDdU and ask away, i'm not always on keyboard but i check at least once day ... feel free to lurk and feel free to post any steemit links in the appropriate channel, you can ask questions by leaving a comment @rudyardcatling , i try to read all of them but i might not on the other accounts

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