One From Storage and Time to Cull the Doubt
The Art Crazy Old Man Knows I Am a Phony But Tells Me to Keep Painting Anyway 2014. Acrylic on panel, 36 x 48"
Happy June 1 and near summer brilliance in the Northern hemisphere!
Unfortunately, June won’t be such a high time for me. No peace and Elysium in store. I have scheduled myself to clean out the studio, paint it, and create more storage space (cull old paintings, build shelves).
I was insulted twice this week by a close friend. He said I should either paint differently and/or just give up painting altogether. It came out of the blue, like he was quietly thinking this for some time.
For a couple days I was really low. It felt like a hard slap in the face. A purposeful put-down.
And then satori came last evening at lake sunset.
I will paint with new vigor, triple my output, and close the door to the world, (but not to love). From now on I will check my friends at their imaginative limitations. Today I will forgive M. when we meet at a mutual friend’s birthday celebration. I might even thank him for the push he gave me toward freedom. He has an American mind. He is old. For him, success is money and can only arrive if it’s dressed in finery. I forgive him his decades long attachment to culture propaganda.
I am young/old with fresh eyes and a studio that needs a good cleaning and rearrangement to fit the next thousand paintings to come.
I am the living flesh of the spirit of the art crazy old man.
Sounds like you have your work cut out for you @ronthroop!! Though, personally I always enjoy doing stuff like that... "out with the old - in with the new"... good for the energy of the space too, but I will end that remark there, before the hippie in me takes over, haha!
First of all, let me just say that I am really sorry to hear that this happened. What a thoughtless individual!!! But - will add this: Humans are mostly enormously insensitive to the emotional impact their words and actions have on others. Your art is a personal journey and there is no right or wrong, good or bad - it is self expression and if it does not resonate with them, it does not matter because there is always someone else out there that it does speak to.
like ME for instance! I really LOVE seeing your art in my feed!!! Not only that - I also really love seeing the "gallery or exhibition" posts you do, where I get to see all of your work together on one wall! It is so vibrant and colourful and full of energy!
Don't give that thoughtless statement another moment of consideration! x
Thank you @jaynie.
Thank you very much for the kind words.
My friend is a bit insensitive. He has his private demons, I’m sure.
I’m always trying to read people to figure them out as much as possible. I actually feel empathy for the mental morass he must be stuck in to insult me for the first time in our 15 year relationship. I never mind the criticism from the outside, for I’ve thickened the skin over the years. However, learning the secret thoughts of a friend with one unfortunate outburst, really knocked me down for the count.
But I’m back up. Your words really help!
P.S. I wish I could just snap my fingers and have the studio cleaned and rearranged. I’d rather be painting or working in the gardens in sunny June. But I will press forward for the sake of November coziness.
When I’m finished I’ll take a video walk through, and post it on Steemit:)
Cheers!
https://steemit.com/hive-185836/@ronthroop/sefgd7#@ronthroop/sefgd7