Caught with a block of hash in Pakistan, a review

One of the many things I love about Pakistan is the hash culture. Being an ‘Islamic’ country there is not much consumption of alcohol, so it’s no surprise that the majority of people smoke hashish. Hash is halal so many Muslims enjoy a good smoke. Unfortunately it is illegal, and if you are caught by the police… you’ll probably be extorted, put in prison, and/or beaten. Although, I have smoked with many police, so it depends, but mostly there is a lot of corruption and abuse of power within the police institution.

The type of hash they have in Pakistan is called charas, or garda in the northern regions.

What’s this?

I was in the northern province of Kyber Pakhtunkwa (KPK) where the garda flows. The first time I entered KPK from Punjab I noticed the sweet change. It was a much stronger hash culture. Everyone was more relaxed about blazing. I could see it on the streets. The hash was also higher quality up here.

I had obtained a block of garda and was walking to the bus terminal through the city of Abbottabad, as I was intending to head to Islamabad that day. As well as being a heavily militarized city hosting the Pakistan Military Academy, I was also in the part of Abbottabad where Osama was claimed to have been killed. I thought nothing of it, as it just looked like a middle/upper class suburb and so I began to walk to the bus terminal without actually knowing where it was.

My view of Pakistan is very different from the Pakistanis. Over two years ago the terrorism was quite severe until the military got it under control. I’ve only seen the very safe Pakistan, where as they still see it as it was in the past.

Anyway, I didn’t get very far. As soon as I came out of Osama town (which some people call it jokingly 😜) I walked onto a road that ran beside one of the military bases. Traffic was allowed to travel along it, but not pedestrians. So I walked down this road for several minutes, not knowing. Well… actually I had been warned several times.

A military jeep pulled up on the other side of the road. One of the men whistled at me. I ignored the whistle. He whistled again, and so I turned and saw him calling me over. They all had their hands on their guns, ready. Within the last year two people had been shot and killed by the military on this road. It turned out afterwards that the people were innocent. Over two years ago this used to be a very dangerous road with constant attacks against the military, so there was still a lot of tension, and fear of danger in their minds. I was wearing a three piece suit which probably helped them decide I wasn’t likely a threat that needed to be shot down immediately, but I was also wearing my rucksack which could have easily been holding explosives.

I gave them the ol’ “Salaam alaikum” (Arabic: Peace be upon you)

They saw I was a foreigner. Questions ensued. Their English wasn’t good. So I talked in a combination of English and Urdu. They wanted to know where I was going, and why I was walking. I told them I was going to get the bus, and that Abbottabad was a beautiful city and I wanted to enjoy it by walking.

They told me not to worry, and that it was just procedure that they had stopped me, and that they were now going to check my things. That’s when I realised my block of hash was in my laptop case, hiding inside of a transparent folder…
As expected they found the hash block. The transparent folder did nothing to shield it from their eyes.

They asked me “What’s this?”

I was going to lie and say it was chewing tobacco, but I thought “This is KPK.”

“It’s hash” I proudly declared.

“What?” they didn’t know the word hash.

“Garda.”

They looked at the amount

“Why?” they questioned

“You know… for smoking” I coolly said while miming a blaze.

They laughed and said “no problem about this” and placed it back in my transparent folder.

I like the military in Pakistan. They are only interested in protecting the country, and don’t give people hassle, and they are very friendly. The police have been the only hassle that I have seen.

After the baggage check, they had to check through my phone to make sure I wasn’t taking pictures of military installations, which is a big NO NO over here. That’s when I remembered the nude boudoir photos of myself I had taken the other day. I only had about 20 photos overall on the phone, and tried to keep a straight face as the guy checked through my pictures. I could instantly tell when he saw the nude photos. He looked at me, I tried not to laugh, and then he handed my phone back deciding not to go through all the photos. I felt bad.

I can't say being an exhibitionist doesn't excite me

While this was all going down, the road had been closed at both ends. Various military, intelligence agencies, and other bureaus kept coming out for the sake of following protocol and bureaucracy. I was hoping for the incident to last about 15 minutes, but it seemed like it would carry on for a long time. So I reluctantly phoned a high-ranking friend (one who had actually warned me the night before about walking on this street and being picked up by the military…) who came and took me out of the situation. The military thought he was the one who had supplied me with the hash, and hinted they wanted some. Everyone had a good laugh, apart from my friend who was angry, but then he laughed.

9/10 an uneventful trip to the bus terminal turned comical incident…

@RiskDebonair