My Brown Paper Bag Of Shit Or Yours?

                                             

Mistakes, guilt, feelings of wanting to change what cannot be undone. Thoughts of regret that prevent progress Now and in the future. These are all things that most adults have experienced. I would even go as far to say that if you haven't experienced these feelings then you aren't being honest. It also seems that as we grow older the mistakes become larger and more profound or at least they feel that way. Some years back I was having a difficult time and had a conversation with a friend. I refer to them as a friend because strangely enough I cannot remember whom the conversation was with. Maybe I was imagining the conversation and it was God whom I was speaking with. Whomever God is. OR Maybe the conversation was with an angel. Whomever or whatever and angel is. OR Maybe I just forgot the damn person's name and their relation to me. Either way the conversation has always stuck with me. It went something like this. . 

Friend: What's wrong man?

Me: Nothing, I just can't stop thinking about the mistakes I made and how things would be different if I wasn't such a fuckin' idiot. 

Friend: You know, everyone has made mistakes in their life and at some point or another had to deal with some nasty problems.

Me: I know, but my problems are really bad and nobody has done the stupid shit I have done. How the hell am I going to get through this?

Friend: You will get through this as everything passes with time.

Me: Well, time needs to speed the fuck up.

Friend: Well, let me tell you something. Imagine if every person carried a brown paper bag with all their past problems and shit in it.

Me: Ok 

Friend: And you were given the opportunity to look into their brown paper bag of past shit and had a choice between your own bag and theirs. You would always choose your own.

Me: Really? OK, whatever. 

This conversation has always stuck with me and at the time I didn't necessarily believe my friend. I have never gone around asking people for an opportunity to peek into their bag of shit, however I do think there is wisdom to be understood from the story. We live in an image world where it seems that everyone is living a perfect life absent of any problems. Social media sites such as Facebook and Instagram depict snapshots of people's life and obviously only the good moments are portrayed. The reality is not displayed on their social media pages as most don't air out their dirty laundry for the world to see. The dirty laundry is saved for the brown paper bags that get stuffed away in the back of a closet.

As I grew a little a bit older and slightly wiser I started to realize that hanging on to mistakes, guilt, and worrying about the past was not only a hindrance to progress but also preventing happiness. I learned that we live in an illogical and broken world where things don't always make sense and troubles come and go. I learned that if it wasn't for my mistakes then I wouldn't have been blessed with some of the greatest opportunities in life. I learned to love, laugh, and embrace some wrongdoings for without those wrongdoings I wouldn't have been able to grow into the person I am today. And above all, when I can't seem to shake some of the dumb things that show up as thoughts in my head, I remember that I wouldn't want to trade my brown paper bag of shit for another persons. . .