so this is me....

It is a horrible..terrible...disgusting disease. Unless you are suffering with it there is no possible way that you could understand. There is no possible way to explain it....it eats you alive. Some days feeling like there is absolutely no way out...other days hanging on by a very, very fine thread....or skating on very very thin ice. Damn it is hard...it is hard but there is always that something inside of me that keeps me going.

Is it my faith that there is a God...a higher power...something that is bigger than me and this awful disease. An entity that holds me in the palm of His hand..the one who watches over me, even when I slumber??. However, I do not feel this faith on every day that the heaviness weighs me down...so then what is it that keeps me going??

I know that so many people will say, "but what have you got to be depressed about".....anyone from the outside looking in would wonder...but if one person...if people could feel like I feel...could see inside my mind and feel the heaviness just for a minute...maybe ..just maybe they would understand.

Depression and anxiety are all consuming diseases...they are not conditions..they are diseases.

I think being apart of this community is a form of an anonymous outlet for me. Only my husband and a select few friends know that I suffer...and still it is hard. My family...my parents...do not know...cannot know..because: the response will be...what do I have to be depressed about.

This is just my introduction...I want to tell my story without being judged..I want to connect with the others out there who are like me:)

I want to say if today is one of the bad days...hang in there..hang on. Find your thread...whatever it may be.

Sending love if you are reading this..I hope just one person can find that tiny little bit of strength to make it through a tough day.

Warrior Princess
I will always fight!