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*dicabutnya ide dan inspirasi-inspirasi tulisan untuk karyanya. begitulah sang penulis mati sebelum waktunya*

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Sang sedang gelisah tak menentu, duduk bangun di atas kursi taman tepi kali depan pengadilan negeri. Sang bukanlah tersangka ataupun saksi yang akan dimintai keterangannya. Sang adalah sorang penulis. Sang menjadi penulis karena kakeknya adalah penulis terkenal Aceh yang menurunkan bakatnya ke ayah Sang. ayah Sang juga mewariskan titel penulis kepada anaknya. sang sedikitnya tidak punya bakat menulis. Sang menjadi seorang penulis karena nama besar kakeknya dan hidup dikalangan para penulis.

Sang nama yang diberikan ayahnya yang seorang penulis sastra surealistik. sang memiliki arti sebagai nama depan segala sesuatu yang dimuliakan atau sebagai nama depan kata benda untuk diperolok. ayah Sang memberi nama yang tidak pernah diberikan oleh manusia manapun kepada sang. pernah Sang menanyakan alasan ayahnya memberi nama yang sangat bullyable saat sang sekolah dulu, ayahnya menjawab

"agar kau dapat memilih kau sang yang mana, sang buruk kah atau sang baik kah. namamu akan sanggat mudah dikenali. beruntunglah kau jika dikenal baik, dan sebaliknya"

kini, Sang menjadi sangat gelisah karena namanya itu. dia ingin namanya sang penulis bukan sang pecundang. dia gelisah sekaligus mengerutu pada nasib yang diemban karena namanya. Sang mondar-mandir tidak jelas. melihat kesana kemari berharap inspirasi menyapanya. suasana taman tidak sesepi idenya. sesekali dia membuka bukunya menulis beberapa kalimat, lalu disobeknya kertas buku tadi, diremas-remas geram dan dibuang. hal itu sudah berlansung setidaknya 4 jam. kursi taman menjadi tong sampah yang dipenuhi kertas-kertas keputus-asaan ide yang buntu.

Sang menjadi hampa, dia tidak bisa melihat orang tua renta yang sedang menatap dalam ke arah sungai di kursi sebelahnya, ataupun sepasang kekasih yang terlena dalam kemesraan masa muda, atau sepasang pecinta yang sedang bertengkar karena istri lelaki itu telah mengetahui percintaan mereka, atau anak-anak sekolah yang sedang mengambil foto, atau pengemis yang tertidur lapar, atau pasutri yang sedang sedih anaknya divonis karena narkoba. Sang hampa dengan keadaan.

!
Sang tidak ingin mati, dia yakin kematian seorang penulis bukanlah terpisahnya jiwa dari raga, melainkan dicabutnya ide dan inspirasi-inspirasi tulisan untuk karyanya. begitulah sang penulis mati sebelum mati.

Sang menangis terisak-isak, dibuangnya buku dan pena milik bapaknya. dia menjadi sangat rendah, dunia seakan membesar berkali lipat. gravitasi seakan semakin kuat menariknya, kepalanya berputar-putar, Sang menjadi dingin, tangannya bergetar selayaknya penderita parkinson yang mengigil, Sang lemas terkulai tak bertulang, Sang akan mati sebelum waktunya.

Sang tergeletak di bawah kursi taman, tidak ada yang berani mendekati sang. dengan perawakan brewokan, gondrong dan baju yang sobek dibelakang, Sang pantas dianggap sebagai orang gila.

!
Sang masih menangis, suasana malam di taman tepi kali dengan lampu yang menyala oranye tua menambah kesan mellow yang dialami Sang.

Sang tidak peduli lagi, dia merasa dia telah mati. pena ayahnya telah tengelam, bukunya dihanyutkan krueng aceh tengelam bersama cerita-ceritanya.

malam semakin larut, Sang masih tertidur meringkuk menangis, jiwanya dalam keadaan terombang-ambing, otaknya tidak bisa memaksanya untuk merasa lapar.

diatas lautan jiwa Sang sendiri diatas sampan kecil, terombang-ambing dihempas badai keputus-asaan. semakin lama badai semakin besar, semakin gelap suasananya, awan-awan berkumpul kelam pekat, petir menyambar sampan Sang, terkoyak sedikit demi sedikit. Sang terbawa menuju ke kematiannya yang tragis.

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english version

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*the removal of ideas and inspiration writing. That's how the author died before dying.*

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THE anxiously erratic sitting up on the lawn garden chairs in front of the county court. the person is not a suspect nor a witness to be questioned. THE is a writer. THE become a writer because his grandfather was a famous writer of Aceh who lowered his talent to his father. his father also passed the title of the author to him. THE at least have no talent to be a write. he became a writer because of his grandfather's great name and live among writers. THE is the name given by his father, his father is a surrealistic literary author. THE has meaning of being the first name of all things glorified or as the first name of the noun to be mocked. THE's father gave the name that no men ever gave to his sons. once THE asked why his father gave a very bullyable name when the in school before, his father replied

"that you can choose you which one, THE bad or THE good, your name will be easily recognizable, lucky you if well known, and vice versa"

Now, THE gets very nervous because of his name. he wants his name's THE author is not THE loser. he nervous and cursing at the fate of his name.
THE pacing unclear. look around hoping inspiration greeted him. the atmosphere of the park is not as quiet as his idea. every now and then he opened his book to write a few sentences, then tore the book, crumpled and thrown out. it's been at least 4 hours.

THE lawn chairs became trash cans filled with despaired papers of hopeless ideas. THE fell hollow, he can't see the old man who is staring deep into the river in the seat next to him, or the lovers lost in youthful affection, or a pair of lovers who are arguing because the man's wife has known their romance, or school children who are taking photos, or beggars who are asleep hungry, or couples who are sadly his son was convicted because of drugs. THE being hollow with the circumstances.

!
THE doesn't want to die, he believes the death of a writer is not the separation of the soul from the body, but the removal of ideas and inspiration writing. That's how the author died before dying.

THE crying sobs, the discarding of his father's books and pens to middle the river. he became very low, the world seemed to be multiplying manyfold. gravity seemed to pull more strongly, his head spinning, THE get cold, his hands shaking like a shivering Parkinson's, the limp limped, THE gonna dead prematurely.

THE lying under the lawn chair, no one dared to approach him. with the stubble of the beardy, the longish and the torn shirt behind, the man deserves to be considered a madman.

!
THE still crying baby, the atmosphere of the night at the edge of the park with lights that light up the old orange adds to the mellow impression experienced by THE. he does not care anymore, he feels he's dead

his father's pen had been drowned, his book washed away by the river Aceh then sank with the river stories.

the night was getting late, THE is still sleeping, his soul in a state of oscillation, his brain could not force him to feel hungry. above the ocean of his own soul over a small boat, tossed in a storm of despair. the longer the storms get bigger, the darker the atmosphere, the clouds gathered dark, the lightning struck the boat, torn little by little. the tragedy led to his tragic death.

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**From Aceh with Love,** salam manis cucoe raja

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