Not Loathing, Just Not Love

“I’m not doing loathing right now.”

That is such a good thing. This time last year, there was so much fighting going on.

“I needed to make my peace.”

It is surely a good thing to find peace in any situation.

“I had someone talk to me. A wise person. She helped give me a sense of perspective. It was also becoming obvious that my actions were affecting the people around me.”

What you were fighting for; was it a just fight?

“I remember being at this point where I would be thinking, you can’t give up. If you give up, then you will lose and they will win. If they win, then they will continue to bulldoze their way through doing anything that they want. I was definitely the good guy.”

So why did you make your peace?

“To keep the peace with everyone.”

So did you give up?

“Actually, no. But I needed to lay down my arms for a while. The fact that I am not trusted fully, that was enough for that moment.”

How are things right now?

“Everything changed suddenly. Out of the blue.”

Good or bad?

“Good, I suppose. I don’t know. I don’t know the reasons for what happened. Just that, the person just went away. No notice. Just gone.”

So, that sudden news was met with sadness?

“I’d like to think that I’m a good person, with a good heart. When I heard, I said what most people would say. That’s a shock. I did not expect that. We send our best wishes.”

Those are the sort of things you say, to be polite. Was that how you were feeling?

“I didn’t know what to think. Not at that point.”

So what happened next?

“I went to my room. I was alone.”

Did you feel sad?

“No way. I was overjoyed. I jumped up and around the room like a crazy person. My head was full of plans to celebrate. Good riddance.”

Are you sure you are a nice person?

“You should not ask me that question. It is a very stupid question, in one way. But in another way, it was the most important one that you have asked so far. Because, when you loathe, you question yourself. You ask yourself the question, ‘am I a good person?’ But you have to be strong and realise that you are a good person. You were the one who stood up to everything that was thrown at everyone. That takes bravery. If you do that, you are never the bad person. You just need a little bit of guidance.”

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