Why school just didn't work for us - and our journey on the homeschooling path

We're originally from Holland and unfortunately it's not so easy to homeschool children there, although the country
often seems quite liberal to outsiders.
This may be true in other areas like cannabis laws etc. but it's certainly not the case when it comes to homeschooling.
If someone intends to educate their children at home, they have to write a letter to the ministry for education with very valid reasons for their choices one month before the child in question turns 5 years old (the mandatory school age).
Now here's where it becomes tricky.
A valid reason to the parent doesn't always naturally mean it's a valid reason for them.
If you were to say, for instance: 'We are not religious and I don't want my child to learn about religion in school.'
They could answer: 'But there are plenty of non religious schools around.'
Most reasons given for home educating are therefore life style choices. Which can be very broad of course.
After this, they have to do this every year.

A Bad Start

When my eldest daughter turned 4 (the age most kids start school in Holland, they can start half way through the year or even a month before the school-year ends), I didn't have a clue what my rights were. I didn't know that home education was even possible. And we just moved from one side of town to the other days before her birthday, so panic struck me.
I HAD to find a school for her and ASAP!
So I made the mistake of signing her up for the first school that came up, after speaking to about two people about their choices. The school was also conveniently close to our home, so it was an easy choice.
Thinking back now, it was probably the most idiotic reason for choosing a school, especially since there were many other schools not far either.
Because my daughter was 4 years old in January, she did 2.5 years in kindergarten.
In Holland there's 2 classes for the younger kids, before they go to first class.
So by the time she went into first class, she was more than ready.

The teacher she happened to have for those 2.5 years should have never become a teacher and to be honest: I believe she secretly didn't even like children and I think she just chose this career because there wasn't much else to do for her after she finished high school. I've actually seen her put a five year old boy in the corner with a dunces hat on for disturbing the lessons! They don't do much more than painting and drawing in those classes, so how on earth could he disturb the peace?
No - this wasn't in the '40's or even in the '70's. It was 2006 for Pete's sake!

dunce-cap.jpg
Photo: http://donaldclarkplanb.blogspot.ie

Somehow the teacher and I clashed all the time, but my girl seemed to be just fine, so I never gave it a second thought.
When she started first class, she had a wonderful teacher. I would get a phone call whenever something came up, communication was not just a one way street (as it was in the 2.5 years before) and my daughter absolutely loved that woman.
Because of that, my doubts disappeared and instead of looking for a different school, I decided to leave her where she was.
Then the end of that school-year came and this lovely teacher announced that she had accepted a job elsewhere.
It was sad to see her go but I'd heard good things about the 2 teachers who'd take over the class from her so again, I left my daughter where she was.

That year was completely different. The two teachers each had half a week in the class and one of them had absolutely no patience whatsoever. And besides that she was also half-deaf, so most times she misunderstood my whispering, shy child and I've heard her and her friends say that she screamed a lot.
Even for me it felt like going from Wonderland to the Ice Queen's Castle, let alone how a seven year old would feel!

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Photo: yahoo

The year after that, third class, my daughter went to a Rudolf Steiner school and she had such a great time there that I beat myself for not sending her there sooner.
When Skye (my daughter) was 8, we moved to Ireland. Because it was a rural community, the choices for schools weren't huge. It basically came down to two things: either a school in the town, or one 10 miles out of town.
She ended up going to both! Neither one was a success. To be honest: more than once it was me who had a problem with their ways of teaching and their disciplinary actions, not Skye.
However, that she made it through those years, doesn't mean she enjoyed it. She hardly smiled or laughed in that time.

When she finished elementary school, there was only one school she could go to.
In the first three weeks, I've seen her change from a good, mostly happy child to a rebelling, moody teenager.
People would tell me that it was puberty but I didn't agree.
I do know that puberty would have something to do with it, but not like that and not that fast.
I think people who believe that to be the case don't pay much attention to their child.
And I can't blame them either, because up until that day: I didn't either or I would have done something sooner.

The Path to Homeschooling

Christmas came and went and nothing had changed in her behaviour. Skye was up all nights and I couldn't get her up in the morning even if I would have had the horses drag her out.
She had a constant bad attitude and there was just no talking to her. She just wouldn't let me in!
And besides this: her one best friend had just moved away to England, so she had no one really.
The other kids were alright, but she really missed her buddy.

In January, my sister came for her birthday and I decided to keep her home during the visit, since it was only a few days.
When my sister left, I sent Skye back to school for one day. She came home upset and there was an even bigger wall around her. We were both at the end of our wits.
Not long before this I had discovered that homeschooling in Ireland was legal and I was part of a homeschooling group.
After that day, I sat down with Skye and asked her what we should do.
Another school again? Or talk to the school about any issues?
She looked at me and said: 'You've been talking about homeschooling, can't we do that?'
A little taken aback by her quick response, I got in touch with the people who knew more and I found out that it is surprisingly easy to homeschool in Ireland.
Worried that I would have to send her back until all was final, I told them this and they assured me that I didn't have to as long as I got the homeschool registration set in motion.
And so I did. We never looked back.

Freedom

Two weeks later, I got a phone call from the vice principal with the question why Skye hadn't been in school for that long.
Surprised that it actually took him two weeks to even start to be concerned, I told him about our homeschool plans.
He then asked me for the reasons and I told him I'd be happy to speak about this in person but not on the phone. He told me that he'd set up an appointment for that with him and the principal and that I'd hear from him.
We never did...
So with that, I was more than 100% sure that we'd done the right thing.

Freedom.jpg

photo: http://www.metaphysics-knowledge.com

My beautiful daughter still had a long way to go. It's hard to 'un-school and break away from the brainwashing that happens in schools after such a long time in school. Especially if the schools don't really care. But we've overcome most of that now and she is much happier with herself. She used to say that people would think that we're 'homeschooling weirdo's' or hippies, but since she's met some new friends during one of our meet-ups with other homeschoolers here, that has changed.
She is smart, beautiful, funny and has a lot of talents. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if she would become one of those young entrepreneurs because she has so many ideas: she's unstoppable.

Our path may not have been the easiest one, but it got us where we are now and it's going in the right direction: forward.

Thank you for reading

If you enjoyed my post, please come back for more or read my introduction here:
https://steemit.com/adventure/@misslasvegas/my-story-and-how-steemit-helps-to-keep-things-flowing

Or one of my other articles here:

https://steemit.com/health/@misslasvegas/the-medical-birth-machine-and-its-impact-on-society-in-general-the-brainwash-begins

or here:
https://steemit.com/vaccines/@misslasvegas/how-vaccines-changed-our-lives-vaccine-induced-injury

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It was a bad teacher this year that led to our homeschool journey. However, now I realize that the "good" school was part of the problem too. So happy to be seeing my kids unwind from all the stress and negativity in the classroom.

Yes, 'good' schools usually emphasise too much on academics and don't leave much time for the child to be a child. It's all about winning. And even though I believe a little bit of competition (like in sports) can be healthy, I don't think it's a good thing in school. There are always those who excel and those who don't. These are the ones that are left behind with low self-esteem. What the first thing was that I really loved was that now we can have breakfast at the table and take our time instead of running around like headless chickens looking for jackets and shoes...

Hey I found you! :)
We moved to Czech rep. aprox 2 years ago and sinds that time my daughter stays at home. She learns from the internet things she is interested in and she learns from us things we find important. And I can assure you these are not the same things which the school system tries to oppress us. And now she got much more secure about herself, she found out how clever and smart she is, because she got bullied before and we never got right help at school she was very closed, shy, and had very low selfesteem. It's a different girl now and beautiful as well....although it was difficult in my family, people still think she needs the papers otherwise her life will not be worthy...but I think, no I am sure, without the papers she has every opportnity because her mind is free to learn whatever she chooses at any time, but people who got papers must stay close to their direction and very often are stressed because after 4 or 6 years of study and working their jobs several years they find out they don't like it and perhaps never even liked it.....so I believe without the brainwashing school system the portals o wisdom are opened.

And now do this again in your own 'introduce yourself' post ;)

Your daughter is fortunate to be homeschooled. I begged my mom for two years to be homeschooled and I haven't looked back since! Great post, it was fun to read about your daughter's homeschool journey. :-)

When a child asks to be homeschooled for reasons other than lazy fantasies of studying in bed in pyjamas, he/she will likely thrive in that environment.

I was also homeschooled from K1-High School (not that common in Singapore, but since I'm in the network, I know of at least a hundred others like me there)..It was a great opportunity for me because you as a homeschooler can literally control your schedule. I was able to work as many as 3 part time jobs simultaneously while being homeschooled because of this, and gained lots of experiences and built my network of friends that way.

That said, if your daughter is more of an introverted personality, it might be useful to send her for other classes like dance, language, sports, etc so she can be exposed to and interact with more people. I come from a family of six kids - all homeschooled..and a couple of my siblings are very introverted, and they would have benefited a lot from some structured situations that forced them to build some social skills earlier on. I'm a mixture of intro- and extro-verted, so I found my way more quickly. There were some painfully embarrassing situations at the start of university though..

Anw, I'm really glad your daughter is doing far better now. She sounds like the driven, introspective sort..which is great...she should join steemit too ;)

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