Anxiety & Me . . . (lets get personal)

All of the pictures in this post are me and are real. During times when anxiety was high or I was coming down from it. I hope to spread awareness and offer relatability to anyone reading this.

Anxiety. It happens suddenly and sticks around for weeks. It takes days to build and is gone in an instant. It consumes you. It fools your mind into believing that everything is wrong. It entraps your body into thinking it needs to do things that it shouldn’t. Its anger, frustration, sadness, despair, uncertainty, loneliness, pain. Anxiety looks like so many different things. It can leave you feeling emotionally and physically drained. It’s triggered by different things or sometimes nothing at all.

Have you ever had anxiety? And I mean really…when your heart starts beating harder and faster and your breath gets quick and shallow. Suddenly you can’t keep a single thought straight and you feel a tightness in your chest. You’re worried and you don’t know why. Sometimes I get nauseous or feel lightheaded, and if it gets really bad my hands and arms will shake.

After awhile you start to have anxiety about having anxiety. About not knowing when it could hit and possibly completely disorient you. It’s hard when one little thing or thought could bring you to such a point. I’ve had a lot of anxiety attacks in my life and some days It’s like my body and mind are only capable of no emotion or all the emotion. Does that make sense?

Anxiety makes relationships hard, and I’m not just talking about a significant other. I mean any relationship. It’s like it doesn’t allow you to have a sense of security. You question everything and worry about even more. Somedays I’ve spiraled because my boyfriend didn’t hug me soon enough when he woke up in the morning, or because my mothers’ tone of voice is different when I phone, and I wonder what bad thing has happened. It’s hard to make friends because I’m constantly stressed about what to say next in a conversation, or what things they could be thinking about me in that moment.

Do you see what I’m saying? It’s not really something to joke about. And just like most things mental health, its difficult to truly understand and empathize with unless it’s something you’ve experienced personally. Having a family member or close friend who experiences symptoms helps, but sometimes that’s just not enough. Anxiety affects people differently and can lead to a number to other mental health “issues” (man I hate that word) …in my opinion, it’s important to educate yourself on things and people you might have in your life.

If you or someone you know is struggling or just want to talk about it, please reach out.
My inbox is always open @missalchemist