Surreal Sundays: Slaughter
I gazed out at the seemingly endless ranks of my foe.
I was vastly outnumbered. Besides the legions in front of me, there was enemy flanking me on each side. Strong and doughty opponents. I fingered my lucky dried Doberman testicle that hung around my neck. A prize from one of my toughest opponents.
Send out your champion!
I roared.
The foe ranked before me shifted slightly, like grass in the wind. Was I mistaken? Did fear ripple through their ranks at my manly shout?
No matter, there was no champion forthcoming.
Is there no-one among you who will face me!? Send out your champion!
Nothing. Just silence. This was it then, the course was set. The odds were heavily against me but that hadn't stopped me before. I hefted my weapon. Its blade was keen, as was I.
It was time.
RAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!
I stormed into the enemy, my weapon cleaving a bloody path through the first wave. My breath came in great heaving gasps as I tore and slashed at them.
Blood flew and bodies were crudely cast aside as I moved through them. My roars of anger punctuating the striking clash of my weapon as it reaped its brutal harvest.
Suddenly I was clear. I stopped for a moment to survey the slaughter. Behind me, like discarded waste lay the myriad corpses of the slain. I gulped a breath. I had made it relatively unscathed.
The battle, however, had only just begun.
My eye ran over the enemy lying in wait at the edges of the field. Hardier, stronger foes.
I changed my weapon for a longer blade, a brutal chopping thing of ill intent.
Before anyone had a chance to think, I screamed, a long and ululating cry. A song of blood to terrify those who heard it.
I charged into the fray.
It seemed like hours but perhaps was only minutes. My arm grew weary from the savage cutting and swinging.
Eventually, I stood alone, not unscathed. Blood ran down my arms. Some of it my own. I surveyed the ruin around me. The bodies of my enemies littered the ground haphazardly where they had fallen.
A solitary tear for them and for what I had become trailed down my filthy, bloodied cheek.
I turned to leave the battlefield.
The good lady called out from the back door.
I hope you are going to rake up all that grass and those cuttings from the bushes? It looks like a right mess out there?!?!
Dammit. I grabbed the rake. A man's chores are never done.
"Never jump on the first ball" - I'm always adviced and I keep doing it...I was dissapointed thinking, in which Slaughter Boom went...and than I realized it was Garden taf battle...Cool...We had ours these days also. The grass was sooo big, so high that we gave up the battle at once and we called people to fight for us and WIN of course. This is our Green house from the year before...
That looks fabulous! You must be able to grow some really good stuff.
It is a very good idea to call someone in to fight that battle. I am sorely tempted to do so myself!!
Yes, I'm upmost lazy for that although in the first days me & @steemitwarrior, my son, we were very enthusiastic and than our passion has transformed from growing and seeding to eating and promoting...😄 But this is organic, no chemistry...
Organic is best! I am organic daft!! :OD
Yes indeed, it's a bloody chore yardwork is ;0)
Hehe, it so it's. I am grievously wounded after taking those bloody bushes!
yes, that's my life!
the worst are the roses. People are blindly infatuated with roses, but most likely because they've never pruned them ....ever! the g d prickers live under the skin and pop up days later, constant owie.
Yeah, our roses are at the front. I hate pruning them. At the back we also have brambles which are evil evil things. Sharp as hell and clingy!!
get rid of those brambles (imho!) altho, are they actually blackberry bushes or just nasty pricker bushes? It is kinda nice to have blackberries.
I am not sure the difference! They are Argyll. Gigantic canes keeping our of nowhere festooned with spikes. I am doing my best to get rid of them!
nasty stuff! I suppose if they were really cut close to the ground, then you could dig them out... I'm sure that's exactly how you'd like to spend your weekend ;0)
Yeah, that sounds like my kind of weekend fun, har har!!
Bahahahahahahaha!!!!! I am at my daughter's cheer practice and people around me are wondering what I am laughing at right now. The savagery those bushes must have felt as you unleashed your wrath upon them. Never can a good time just be left at that, there is always someone there to keep us in line and put us back to work. Thanks for making me look like a fool in front of all these cheer moms. LOL
Haha, you are welcome!!!
I am bleeding from the battle but am not down!! Hehe
Only a desperate cry of lament was heard in the wind, thinking the worst troubled I went to the place of the event, when I approached to hear clearer the lament, a strange object that travels at full speed I barely touch my ear, It's an attack! I thought, but it was my mother who threw a shoe at me to get the clothes off the clothesline because it was going to rain lol.
We expect another story like this while you take out the trash, you could add zombies and elves:D
HAhahah, I did elves once before, I think that was a Sunday too. Dark Elves!! hehe. :OD
Oh, hell! I've seen those elves, so no way could be zombies:D
Ohoho! Way to flex that literary muscle, mah dude! Is this the start of an epic new series?? This is the first surreal sunday, isn't it? Isn't it!? Or, doth my mind deceive me?
Well, it is the first that has been entitled so but it is probably the third or fourth. I think Dark Elves might have been the first!
I had no surreal inspiration this week so it might be a sporadic thing!
Dark Elves!! Those nosy backdoor fiends! I remember that! I feel like an old man.
hooo, nooo limpeza of fund, that if that is killer. I own a fund of about 400 square meters, as all day I'm sitting at the computer, there is no time to clean, when I do it is already a forest, right now it is an impenetrable, at any time I will be sent to clean the garden and not There will be another to do it.
it's good that you've already started.
excelete reading dear friend @meesterboom I wish you a good start
400 square metres!?!! Truly my friend, my heart goes out to you!!!
Hahahahahah!!! You are an adult but really you are a child at heart playing with the rake as if it was a blade fighting the invisible enemies. I like your sense of humour. Upvoted!!
Haha, you got it exactly right!!
Lawns are rude with how they are constantly growing and being a mess, each season has its own problems. I've lost too many hours of my life to lawns.
Me too. One day the lawn will get what's coming!!
Hello @ meesterboom: good, yesterday you did not wash the clothes, but today you had cutting the garden herbs ... the Good Lady has you totally controlled: Do not leave the house until you finish your homework! (lol) ... but, it was interesting your moment, you ended violently with all that enemy that stalked you, it was a memorable episode ... now you have to see what you do with all those bodies that you left lying on the battlefield; I recommend you get some battle partners, to do the final cleaning.
Greetings.
They are all safely disposed of now. Into the bin with them!! :0)
ROFL! I love your description of Sunday spent mowing the grass first time in spring. Personally, I use a 3-foot machete to cut my grass. It gets a little unwieldy in the rainy season...
But what a story you get out of it LOL! :OD